zold All for Christ alone

careless

2008-06-26T14:02:00.001+08:00

out of carelessness.. i accidentally lost half of my codes.. argh.. nvm.. wait for the new one! (:

preparation to move on!

2008-06-26T10:20:00.000+08:00

im moving... today is my last day using this URL, blogskin...

i have decided to start anew!

tmr-- 27th June 08...

awaiting for the new blog...

a closer walk with God...

a greater plan that He has in stored for me!...

All praise to God (:

a friend

2008-06-26T07:45:00.002+08:00

a friend is someone whom you...

know
say hi and ask 'how's your day?'
share your thoughts with at times
understands you to a certain extent
may be free when you ask them out

a close true friend is someone whom you...

trust
with the the first look know if she has a good day or bad
share more than your thoughts but also your secret with
know can totally understand you when you share
know will always avail herself to go out just to spend some time with you
hug and know that she will be there to give you her shoulders too, if you cry..
love so very dearly..

it is a close friend that brought me through my most difficult times..
it is a close friend that helped me through my down moments..
it is a close friend that also enjoyed my happy times together..
it is that close friend that i truly trust and love..

no relationship can be formed like that without the presence of God..
i had a few good friends too, that i thought could be close, but at the end of the day, they turn around to back stab you... betray you..
i forgive them.. but i also realised that without having God in the picture..
it would never be perfect..
when in down times, advice came.. from God through her..
lessons that she taught me, that i learnt and will never forget..

as i see couples forming.. getting married.. sometimes, i do wish i had one too..
but what is my purpose of having one now?..
as said in 1 Cor 7:35
being single, one would be able to focus on doing the works of the Lord..
being she has nothing else to worry about..
well, im not saying i will never get married or get a boyfriend..
but it is just not the right time now..

God has greater plans for me than to to get a boyfriend now..
and i want to follow His will..

as i was listening to a sermon.. some ppl may think that with that girlfriend or boyfriend, our lives would be more complete.. we would be happier.. but little did we realise that.. yes, we seek for that special someone.. but it will never be found in anyone but God.. everyone of us has this void in us that only God can completely fill... realising that, we then can say that it is only by a great blessing that God give us that special someone to us.. but it is a greater blessing, when that we realise that all we need is God.. and there is no one else that can fill that void..

i needed to learn that.. i needed to see that relationship is not everything.. yes, God created us for relationship.. but it is a relationship with Him.. many of us fo not see it and thinks that others can fill in the gap.. but no.. it is pointless to pin that hope in someone else.. but it will bound to disappoint at times... but God will never disappoint..

God will always be there to catch us when we fall..
God will always be there to lead us back to Him when we are lost..
God will always waiting for us to run back to Him when we strayed away..
God will always be there to love us with His ever lasting love..

hmmm

2008-06-25T18:45:00.003+08:00

i have a lot of good guy-friends..

sean, andy, eric, steven, eugene, matthew and so much more..

but it is hard that i come by a true true girl-friend..

i thought i found my one true friend.. carol..

i thought i could selfish-ly have her all to myself.. but i guess.. no.. i cant..

carol has been a great sister to me.. being with me whenever i need a friend..

whenever i am with her.. it reminds me of grace..

my secondary school friend..

grace is also a girl that has indeed been sent from God.. she was not suppose to be in Christ Church Sec..

but because her parents moved hse.. so they decided to shift school too.. i knew her from the first day... we became best friends..

we never fought.. oddly.. i think, once..

but we could never stay mad at each other for long..

whenever i need someone to push to study.. grace would come along and push me.. she has always been smarter than me.. but forever refusing it..

similarly with carol.. a girl sent from God..

seriously forgot how i got to know her so close.. and one that brought us even closer was the youth retreat..

every time i need someone to push me to do quiet time.. she is the one pushing me..

every time i had a problem.. she will always be there to help me.. advice me..

we have not fought before.. but she is too dear to me to quarrel to...

she is someone i wanted to confide my deepest secret to..

she is someone who confided in me her secrets too..

she is someone i can trust..

would it still stay all the same?...

i love my dearest sister..

i really do...

who understand how i feel now?

who understand what i am going through?

no one but God..

no one but Him..

no one...

i finally knew

2008-06-25T09:08:00.004+08:00

after one night of sleep... i realised what i couldnt let go.. what i was afraid...

my best friend...

sorry for being selfish...

just that.. this came too fast..

im so afraid i will lose you..

im so afraid that i will lose my best friend..

im so afraid that you would not have time for me...

im so afraid things would be different..

one side of me, tells me this is good for you...

one side of me, cant let you go..

our friendship just blossom...

i cant find another friend like you...

im scared....

i finally saw the reality of things..

friends leave you..

family members leave you...

you think you are left alone...

all the more i should rely on God..

but a very selfish reason..

i question God.. why you take away my best friend from me..

for a selfish reason..

i ask God.. can it be another time?...

as i await for the final verdict in 3 days time..

i really want to wish her all the best..

but there is just this part of me that cant let her go...

i thought i found a best friend...

i thought i finally found someone who would understand how i feel..

but ultimately.. i know... i have to let go sooner or later...

more than that

2008-06-23T08:19:00.003+08:00

i am exhuasted from the weekend fun..
im glad is over, but everything has just began..
leadership roles i have accepted..
responsibilities and tasks ahead are expected..

it is more than what i see
it is more than what i thought i could be
God has always knew i could do more
and His calling, i couldn't ignore

by faith i'll walk
by faith i'll follow
no matter where You ask me to go...

by faith i'll run
by faith i'll see
the love that You have for me...

The Servant King

2008-06-18T12:41:00.001+08:00

The Servant King
Graham Kendrick

From heaven You came
Helpless babe,
Entered our world,
Your glory veiled;
Not to be served
But to serve,
And give Your life
That we might live.

This is our God,
The Servant King,
He calls us now
To follow Him,
To bring our lives
As a daily offering
Of worship to
The Servant King.

There in the garden
Of tears,
My heavy load
He chose to bear;
His heart with sorrow
Was torn,
‘Yet not My will
But Yours,’ He said.

Come see His hands
And His feet,
The scars that speak
Of sacrifice;
Hands that flung stars
Into space
To cruel nails
Surrendered.

So let us learn
How to serve,
And in our lives
Enthrone Him;
Each other’s needs
To prefer,
For it is Christ
We’re serving.

school

2008-06-16T08:32:00.003+08:00

there goes the alarm at 6am for school again...

2 weeks of holidays flew quickly by...

i quickly woke up afraid that i would be late for school...

quickly taking a shower... looking forward to that time that i have missed out for the past few days...

the time with God.. in the morning... though only 20mins.. but it is a time where i draw strength from Him.. (:

today's devotion is about peace from God... after rushing through my 20mins in the morning..

the peace of God just descended in me... yea... great day...

it sux in school... felt sick, felt giddy.. felt faint.. oddly enough managed to survive home.. thank God really.. (:

God has been great! (:

happy

2008-06-15T00:15:00.002+08:00

being happy.. how do we stay happy?
how do we stay joyful?

who is the source of our joy?
who is for us when we are sad?
who will make us joyful?

who can casts away our fears?
who can cause us to be peaceful in this chatoic world?
who can help you when you need help?

God is the answer..
God does not take away our problems... but rather He is with us walking through it...
God is love...

God loves me...
and you...

love

2008-06-11T23:40:00.003+08:00

what is love really?...

something to be played around?..

something taken seriously?..

something that all girls are looking for?..

something that all guys are looking for too?

something that is everlasting?...

something that we are all missing?

love is not a limited commodity.. that is something i learn..

the only thing that is stopping us to loving more.. is our willingness to love..

that is something more i learn...

when we are willing to give love... love expands..

God has a perfect love for us that would never end..

that casts out all fear..

that comforts us when we are alone..

that stand stronger than any relationships on earth...

God loves us.. more than that.. God wants us to love Him back.. we love Him.. because He first loved us.. all praise to my Father! (:

at the end

2008-06-11T00:09:00.007+08:00

at the end of the road.. is our final destination..

at the end of this life.. is eternity..

are we walking toward the correct destination?

are we heading towards the correct eternity?

God loves us so much..

for love to exist.. there HAS to be freedom..

in freedom there is love.. why were we given freedom?

simply because we are created by God as objects of love.. (:

God didn't give us free will to glorify His name.. but rather..

because we are His objects of His love.. that's why we have been given freewill..

Deut 30:11

11 “For this commandment which I command you today is not too mysterious for you, nor is it far off.

12 It is not in heaven, that you should say, ‘Who will ascend into heaven for us and bring it to us, that we may hear it and do it?’

13 Nor is it beyond the sea, that you should say, ‘Who will go over the sea for us and bring it to us, that we may hear it and do it?’

14 But the word is very near you, in your mouth and in your heart, that you may do it.

God is not far from you.. God is saying 'I'm RIGHT HERE!' is not that tough.. He don't want to make things complicated.. So God goes on..

15 “See, I have set before you today life and good, death and evil,

16 in that I command you today to love the LORD your God, to walk in His ways, and to keep His commandments, His statutes, and His judgments, that you may live and multiply; and the LORD your God will bless you in the land which you go to possess.

Here.. God says.. You are going to live, if you choose Him.. but if you don't you are going to die.. you think God is cruel.. since if we don't choose Him we will die.. right?... let's read on..

17 But if your heart turns away so that you do not hear, and are drawn away, and worship other gods and serve them,

18 I announce to you today that you shall surely perish; you shall not prolong your days in the land which you cross over the Jordan to go in and possess.

So here God is saying.. if you choose other things or other gods.. you are not going to have life.. and is not going to be good for you...

19 I call heaven and earth as witnesses today against you, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing; therefore choose life, that both you and your descendants may live;

so now we know.. at the core.. what God longs for every human being... is that we choose life... but let's think again.. why God is so persistent that we choose life?.. why is God so narrow-minded that we need to choose life?... so now.. there is this God here that is going..

20 that you may love the LORD your God, that you may obey His voice, and that you may cling to Him,

till here God is still saying..

'Love Me, love Me, love Me!'
OR is there something we are not getting from God...
Here is it...

for He is your life and the length of your days; and that you may dwell in the land which the LORD swore to your fathers, to Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, to give them.”

so look.. it is not that God is upset that you fill in the blanks wrong..

it is not because in a multiple choice question you put the answer 'C', when the correct answer is 'A'..

God is saying is not up in high.. is not far.. is right here! it is a heart issue! and God is saying..

'I'm laying before you a choice to live or to die.. and it is not that i want you to die.. but I am Life..'

see God doesn't kill us because we don't choose Him.. but because He is life itself!

so we don't choose him... we choose death..

this is the core.. when God created humanity..

God breathe into us the breath of life...

He is the source of life for humans..

and outside of Him.. there is no life..

ultimately.. this isn't about which is the correct religion..

but it is the question..

who gives life to the human spirit

it is the wrong question..

God is your life..

God first loved you.. and He still does... He is waiting for you right now.. (:

Be blessed by God..

timely reminder

2008-06-09T21:30:00.001+08:00

this was perhaps a timely reminder for me...

and i hope you will spend 5mins to take a look at this video..

may God speak to you..

be blessed..

updating

2008-06-08T22:14:00.002+08:00

in the midst of everything that had happened.. God remained faithful...

in the times where i almost fell.. God managed to catch me..

in the times where i want to give up.. God never gave up on me..

in the times where i crumble and fall.. God stood up for me and picked me up...

in the times where i disobeyed.. i asked for repentance.. God forgave me.. God loved me...

in the times where i felt alone.. God was with me..

in the times where i wanted to listen to His voice.. He spoke to me...

the love of God just overwhelm me once again.. (:

end of the week

2008-06-05T20:33:00.002+08:00

yea! reaching end of the week! exciting things gonna happen in DI! (: excited! (:

but tmr need to wake up at 6am... go to bugis for a lesson till 12.30... (:

then come home... do stuff... (:

it went to its climax today... guess, i was very frustrated inside.. and kinda vented it on my FYP friends.. sorry guys... shouldnt have had that stupid and pointless quarrel... (:

with all the ups and... well a lot of downs this week... i realised that God really blessed me with a wonderful family... that i often took granted for... it is really easy to take granted of our family.. simply because we think that they will always be with us... but more than so... when they are gone.. they you realised that a lot of times, you wished you had spent more time with them...

but nonetheless, i thank God for bringing me through this trial.. i dunno if it is over yet...cuz.. i think i do still need more time to accept that fact... but God has been with me... though this week... there were times where i was stubborn towards God.. when i know i am suppose to spent time with Him i didnt... but missing the time... i really regretted it.. and i will be better!!

i have to pick myself up quick! i cannot fall!! (:

God remains faithful no matter how unfaithful we have been... despite of how sinful we are... God still loves us... How great is His love... wow... no words could really describe it... (:

i've come to realise something... why God cannot just show Himself in front of us... so that we might believe... right?.. some people might have that question... why does God show Himself little by little.. in different areas... but not the whole Him...

well.. simply because no man can stand alive in His full glory! How great is our God! His glory is so pure and holy that we cannot survive if we were to be in His full presence.. even when He revealed a little of His presence... we would fall facedown.. because His presence is just so strong.. pure.. holy... that such a sinful man like us cannot handle it... wow...

all praise to Christ our Lord!

my only cry...

2008-06-04T01:56:00.003+08:00

confirmed that my sister is leaving Aug 15th...

confirmed that my mum is leaving.. date,, around 8-15th aug..

i used to love the gifts they bought for me... but now.. i long to be with them than to have the gifts they bought for me...

bear? jacket? ipod?... all these.. i rather not have... but exchange it to see my parents..

for the first time in my life.. i feel seperated...

my family has been the one that didnt look at me with a judgemental eyes..
my family has been the one that whenever i felt sad.. i would run home..
my family has been the one i love the most...

all these time.. i really thought i could handle this alone... but now that reality is here...
i realised i cant...
missing a loved one is perhaps something new to me too..
never realised it was something so painful...
im happy for them..
im just sad that i cant be there...yet...
the feeling of seperation...
is way worse than the feeling of loneliness...

all that i can cling on to now is God...
simply asking Him to be near to me..
asking Him to provide me with the love that i need and lack...
i need His love more than ever...

Be near
Shane & Shane

Verse 1
You are all
Big and small
Beautiful

And wonderful
To trust in grace through faith
But i'm asking to taste...

Pre-Chorus
For dark is light to You
Depths are height to You
Far is near
but Lord, i need to hear from You

Chorus
be near, oh God
be near, oh God of us
Your nearness is to us our good

be near, oh God
be near, oh God of us
Your nearness is to us our good, our good

Verse 2
Your fullness is mine
Revelation divine
But, o, to taste
To know much more than a page
To feel Your embrace...

For dark is light to You
The depths are height to You
Far is near, but Lord
I need to hear from You

this is my only cry to God...
this is my only plea...
this is my only desire..
this is the only thing that will fill me..
this is the only Person that will give me joy..
this is the only Person that will grant me strength when i am weak..
this is the only Person who knows what is the best for me..
this is the only Person who sees me when i cry at night..
this is the only Person that will comfort me..
this is the only Person i love..

Daddy God... I love You..

what a difference

2008-06-02T18:35:00.003+08:00

as i look at my friends... as 4 couples are preparing to get married during the fourth quad of the year.. seeing my friends grow in Christ... seeing my cell members grow.. seeing how some friendships are so wonderfully formed by God.. and some relationships are brought together by God.. i felt a little insignificant in the midst all these.. with the endless stress... of a thousand what-ifs...

what if i cannot handle my cell?
what if i cannot do as God told me to..
what if i fail to lead my cell like how God wanted me to..
what if what i am doing now, is not what God had planned for me...
what if i do badly in school..
what if...

whenever i know i am not totally focused on Him.. i have a thousand and one doubts filling my head...whenever i know i am not walking close enough with God, as i should be, fear start to creep in my mind.. whenever i realised that i am far from God's expectations... i break down..

all these made me realise one simple thing... i cannot live without God... i simply cannot.. whatever that i do... as long as i dont do according to His will... i can feel it all the way to my bones.. and i feel so uncomfortable..

what a difference.. on how christian face death compared to others...

christian can face death as a joyous occassion.. simply because we have left this world to be called home to the Father... we are certain where we are heading to after the physical death...

life is short.. don't short change your life..
we as humans.. are really weird..
as a kid.. we longed to grow up to be older.. so that we can have more freedom...
when we are 9, we want to be 11..
when we are 11, we want to be 13..
when we are 13.. we are thinking of driving...
when we are driving.. we are thinking of relationship...
marriages.. kids.. having a job...
YET...
when we reach 30... we suddenly want time to slow down... we suddenly feel that time is going way to fast.. and we want to slow it down... well.. i really cant say much about that, since, i have not reach that age.. but isnt it like that?

and after 30.. we work... have a good life.. what is the next thing we look to?
death?
a man's destiny is to death... is to die...
but.. that is not crucial.. the more crucial part is what happens after that?..
i look forward.. not to my graduation.. not to my next boyfriend.. not to my next school.. not to my next job... nothing.. but i look forward to spending the rest of my eternity with Him..

life is short... don't waste it...

i finally understood.. the song lyrics... and it has challenged me greatly..

You give and take away...
You give and take away...
my heart would choose to say
Lord, blessed be Your name...

can i still praise God, after what He has taken away from me?
2 most precious things in my life.. within four days.. it was taken away from me...
i ever adviced someone on this before... and now i realised... the difficulty level of it...
after God took away...
what is my response?
how would i react to it?
would i crumble and fall?
would i still stand on my faith and says, God has a better plan for me..
God is God.. let God be God..
it is time for God to truely be the Lord of my life..

i guess.. He has given me chances to release it to Him.. but it has taken over my priority... and now when God takes it away... it feels so unfair... but i know i need to obey..

i choose to still say..
God is good.. all the time..
all the time.. God is good..
God has a better and higher plan for me..
i must let God be God..
i cannot stop what God is trying to do in my life, because i know it will be so much better than mine.. because He knows my future.. He knows what is best for me.. and in obedience i will follow Him.. it may be painful.. it may hurt so much.. but it is alright. because God is with me..
Jesus loves me this i know..
for the Bible tells me so..

With all I am

Into Your hands
I commit again
With all I am
For You Lord

You hold my world
In the palm of Your hand
and I'm Yours forever

CHORUS
Jesus I believe in You
Jesus I belong to You
You're the reason that I live
The reason that I sing
With all I am

I'll walk with you wherever You go
Through tears and joy
I'll trust in You
and I will live in all of Your ways
and Your promises forever

truely.. this song speaks so much... my promise to You Lord.. i will trust You...
Lord, I love You..

All praise to Christ our Father...

be far from me

2008-06-02T15:35:00.002+08:00

the more i try to keep my mind focused on God.. i realised.. the harder it is.. going to SKS today alone was interesting... been some time since i really spent time with myself... having a distracted mind sure sux.. but overcoming it.. sure is good (: continue to be in prayer!! (:

excited! (:

2008-05-30T23:14:00.002+08:00

after talking to him about it... it is like a revelation.. hmmm... actually.. now i can focus even more on God.. well.. it is weird.. but i thank God for that opportunity today! i never knew what it was like to confront that matter openly.. but after it happened... it was like.. wow.. guess, i should have confront it earlier.. but it would be weirder right?... hmm... i thought i wouldnt be able to handle the rejection... but God has prepared me all along for it already... haha... (: i thank God! (:

it was like an eye-opener.. nonetheless.. the devil does not have a foothold in this area of my life anymore.. no more jealousy... bitterness.. anger... woohoo!

The enemy has been defeated! Beloved is going to rise even higher! weee (:

im excited of what God is going to do in church.. Destiny Impact... and even in Beloved! though greater responsibilities.. but i believe God is preparing me for all these... i praise God..

excited!!

end of the road

2008-05-30T07:49:00.003+08:00

at the end of the road... what has been prepared for us.. would we ever believe in those things?.. heaven?... hell?.... reincarnation?... or simply... nothingness... it was once said that... the most scary thing is to die and not know where you are going next... well... i would not totally agree with it..

the most scary thing is to die and realise that you have been believing in a lie and all the times in your life, whatever that you have done in the world.. amounts to nothing after you die.. and what awaits you for eternity is a seperation from God and His kingdom... now that is scary..

whatever achievement that we gain on earth... we cannot carry it to our deathbed.. whatever success and money you made.. cannot carry over to our 'next life', or whatever you called it..
out of dirt do we come into this world, and it will be through the same, do we go out of this world.. all these we do in the world is in flesh.. when the flesh dies.. everything that you hold on to dies along with you... BUT there is one thing that will not die...

Your salvation in Christ. our faith in Christ would allow us to enter heaven to enjoy His inheritance.. which is nothing like earth inheritance.. Christ inheritance..

John 14:1-4

1 “Let not your heart be troubled; you believe in God, believe also in Me.

2 In My Father’s house are many mansions; if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you.

3 And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you to Myself; that where I am, there you may be also.

4 And where I go you know, and the way you know.”

well.. i would love to enjoy a mansion for eternity... wouldnt anyone?
living with Christ for eternity... wouldnt it be wonderful?...

all these things will be given to us.. if only we believe in Him..

at the end of the road...
I find myself walking towards the gates of heaven...
glorious light shining of everywhere..
the love of God filling my heart...

desiring to hear Him say 'well done, good and faithful servant...'
entering into His glorious kingdom..
enjoying eternity with Him..
Forever praising Him..

saying.. 'Glory glory glory Lord,
God of power and might
Heaven and earth are filled with Your glory
Hosanna in the highest..'

Blessed is He who comes in the name of the Lord..
Hosanna in the highest!

I Can Only Imagine

I can only imagine
What it will be like
When I walk
By your side

I can only imagine
What my eyes will see
When your face
Is before me
I can only imagine

[Chorus:]
Surrounded by Your glory, what will my heart feel
Will I dance for you Jesus or in awe of you be still
Will I stand in your presence or to my knees will I fall
Will I sing hallelujah, will I be able to speak at all
I can only imagine

I can only imagine
When that day comes
And I find myself
Standing in the Son

I can only imagine
When all I will do
Is forever
Forever worship You
I can only imagine

defending

2008-05-29T21:23:00.003+08:00

why do one defend his/herself... does it make you right?... or is it something that we know it is true, but just wouldn't accept because of.. perhaps.. self-denial for any particular reason... and yet.. God is still trying to reach out to them..

I am not hesitating to share because, i feel that i have not sufficient proof and evidence... in fact.. i don't need to show you proof and evidence that God exist in the first place.. because i am not trying to force you to believe... but what i am trying to share here.. is truly from the overflowing of God's love in me...

Jesus died for you and me... in order to be re-connected to God.. the fact that there is existence of humans simply proves that there is an existence of God.. and all God wants to do know is to have back that relationship with man again, just for the same reason as He created Adam and Eve...

all this time.. while we were still living in sin.. God already loved us first.. God already prepared that way out for us.. instead of just passing in earth and going to hell.. why do people choose a path that separates them from God for eternity than a path that leads them to eternity with God... when would they come to realize that they NEED God... it is NOT even a want... it is a NEED! it is a necessary thing that we need! without God.. i would say that i cannot even survive.. NOT for a split moment..

living with a purpose.. a true living relationship with our creator makes my life a whole different. yes, i am still under 'training' to be a better child for God.. but God loved me so much, that He would bother to even train me to be more like Him.. Holier, Righteous, more filled with love, patience, joy...

why wouldn't anyone want that? God... a Saviour, Friend, Redeemer, Father, Lover, Healer, Comforter, Peace-Giver, Joy-Giver, Merciful One, Glorious One...

in the midst of all the chaos in this world... God has given me peace to sleep at night...

in the midst of all the stress in school.. God has given me joy to go through it with His strength..

in the midst of all the loneliness i might face.. God has given me His Holy Spirit and i walk by His promise that He will never leave me nor forsake me..

in the midst of all the mad rush of the world.. God granted me strength to walk through all this with no rush, no hurry..

in the midst of all the disappointments that the world throws at me.. God has given me His Comforter to comfort me and assure me of the kingdom that He has prepared for me for eternity..

in the midst of EVERYTHING in this world.. I have chosen to stand steadfast in His love.. and remain strong in Him.. no matter what i face in this world..

How great is our Father's love that we need to reach out to the rest and let them know too..

but more than often, we come back disappointment..

as i sit by His feet, giving Him all my burdens... He told me once again..

not to give up.. Jesus didn't give up.. He went all the way up to the cross.. and just for Him.. i want to go all the way too...

people can disappoint me.. Jesus' disciples betrayed Him..

people can hurt my physically.. Jesus was beaten and whipped, in every area of His body before He went up to the cross..

people can ignore me.. Jesus suffered from rejections from the people, when they ask the governors to put Jesus on the cross..

people can put me to shame.. Jesus Christ died on the cross for all my sins...

Matthew 10:32-33

32 Whoever acknowledges me before men, i will also acknowledge him before my Father in heaven.

33 But whoever disown me before men, i will also disown him before my Father in heaven..

Christ not only died for our sins.. He conquered physical death.. so that if we believe in Him.. we would also be able to overcome physical death and spend eternity with our Father in heaven!

Someone said to me, when i was not feeling well.. 'you are not only physically sick, spiritually too..' funnily.. i do want to ask.. what do you exactly know about the spiritual world? in is NOT in the mind... however.. it is even more real than the physical world.. naturally you cant see it in this world.. because this world is of the flesh, physical state..

nonetheless.. as alive as i am spiritually... i would want to declare one more time that

Jesus Christ is the WAY.. THE TRUTH.. and THE LIFE..

NO ONE comes to the Father EXCEPT through Him!

May the Name of the Lord be high and lifted up!

If there was something i wanted to say to you... it would be..

Jesus loves you..

thinking

2008-05-26T20:19:00.002+08:00

just been thinking.. as Si Er has mentioned on Sat.. i had those thinking too.. whenever i stand at the edge of somewhere.. i always knew that between me and eternity.. is that barrier and my sanity.. once i lose either one of it.. i will die.. without the barrier, i wouldnt be able to stop my fall.. if i lost my sanity.. i would just jump..

everyday.. God's grace prevailed me through.. He prevailed you too.. it is by the grace of God that we can live till this age.. the other blessings are really His blessings for us.. i never understood the grace of God until i realised how near to death i was everyday.. the closeness i am to death.. i can die now because my heart can just stop beating.. but God allowed it to beat.. until God said to stop beating, i want to make sure of every heart beat and glorify God.. many times i fail to please Him.. yet it is also His grace that allowed me to continue living worthy.. because of His Son that has been our advocate to stand between us and God..

ONLY BY GRACE

Only by grace can we enter
Only by grace can we stand
Not by our human endeavour
But by the blood of the Lamb

Into Your presence You call us
You call us to come
Into Your presence You draw us
And now by Your grace we come
Now by Your grace we come

Lord, if You marked our transgressions
Who would stand
Thanks to Your grace we are clensed
By the blood of the Lamb

Lord, if You marked our transgressions
Who would stand
Thanks to Your grace we are clensed
by the blood of the Lamb

it is ONLY by the grace of God..
all praise and glory be unto the Father.. (:
i love you Daddy God..

times like these

2008-05-24T20:46:00.003+08:00

everyone has their ups and downs... difficult times and fun times.. times spent with loved ones... times spent alone.. and times spent with God..

perhaps.. up times.. and fun times are times where we want to repeat them... so that we enjoy it again... perhaps.. down times and difficult times are times we try to avoid as much as we can..

perhaps... times spent with loved ones are times that we treasure.. perhaps.. time spent alone.. more than often, we use those times to reflect on what we have done and ask ourselves is this the best that we can do?..

my up times.. are times where i want to glorify God.. i want to thank Him for those times He has given me to enjoy and relax.. my fun times.. are times where i have my fun too.. and of course, i want to thank Him for allowing me to have those times to enjoy.. my down time.. are times when God discipline me and chasten me for what He has prepared for me in the future.. my difficult times are times where He wants me to rely more on His strength.. and depend on Him instead on ourselves.. and these are times where i praise Him more.. because these are times where i know even clearer that He is with me..

friends that are with you during good times are friends... but true friends are with you even closer during your rough patches... God is closer to us than a brother.. what more could He do to show us that He is almighty and strong!

time spent with my loved ones.. my family are all in overseas now.. now i begin to see, how much i really love my family and sometimes take them for granted... i missed my dad because i haven't seen him for a good 4, coming 5 months.. my mum is there for 2 weeks now.. and my sis just flew this afternoon.. so time spent with my family is precious to me.. but im happy that God is moving over there too...

time spent with my loved one... are times where i treasure but not hold on to.. when God sees that i am holding on to it... He reminds me in different ways that i am NOT to hold on to those temporal things of this world.. even those it might be given from God.. because slowly, if He doesn't remind me about it... i will lose my focus.. so i thank God that He often allows me to see when i'm losing my focus.. but times spent with him are times that i still thank God for.. because He granted those to me..

time spent alone... i loved those times i spent alone... because this will link with my times spent with God.. it wasn't much this week.. however.. i really want to just soak in His presence all day.. but often because of school and all... nonetheless, these are still excuses... because more than often i find myself perhaps doing things that i could actually not do and spend that time with Him (:

no matter how bad my week was... i still want to thank Him.. i want to declare aloud that

JESUS IS LORD!

ALL praise and glory be unto God...

Java

2008-05-23T14:34:00.003+08:00

right now.. after going through 2 lessons of java.. i got 2 choices... either i still love java or i hate it..

i would have reasons to hate it cuz for 2 lessons.. i cant get the codes right and i have A LOT of errors here and there..

i would love it.. cuz if i don't there would be no motivation for me at all.. i like java for 2 semester... i went through all sorts of things.. so what for give up now right?.. specially there is only 9 weeks more to go.. time really flies.. but it flies faster with FYP... more coding to be done...

but God is with me.. and i believe He will bring me through it...
All praise to God (:

my favorite verse

2008-05-21T21:26:00.002+08:00

Romans 8:38-39

For I am convinced that neither DEATH nor LIFE, neither ANGELS nor DEMONS, neither the PRESENT nor the FUTURE, nor any POWERS, neither HEIGHT nor DEPTH, nor ANYTHING ELSE in ALL creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord..

all praise to God! (:

what is the truth..

2008-05-21T20:53:00.002+08:00

why am i so sure that christianity is the only way...

there were historical evidences in the places stated in the Bible..

like in the red sea..

in the Bible, it stated that Moses parted the red sea..

and the Egyptians that were chasing after the Israelites..

and when Moses parted the sea for the Israelites to cross, the Egyptians quickly crossed too thinking they could chase them..

But when they were crossing halfway, the Israelites have completely crossed and God let the sea return back.. and drowned a lot of the Egyptians... real chariots were found after years have passed.. this obviously proved that.. this have happened before.. (:

recordings of Jesus' resurrection and His entire life.. were not only recorded in the Bible.. but as a historians records as well.. and if non-believers could have written this, in an objective view.. should we not believe that it is true?

Jesus Christ came as a man.. to be the way out for us..

Jesus Christ came to earth to die on the cross, to pay that price of sin...

Romans 6:23

For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord..

John 3:16

For God so loved the world, that whosoever believed in Him shall not perish BUT have eternal life!

ALL praise and glory be unto God! (:

the joy of the Lord is my strength

2008-05-20T21:35:00.002+08:00

You say: "It's impossible"
God says: All things are possible (Luke 18:27)

You say: "I'm too tired"
God says: I will give you rest (Matthew 11:28-30)

You say: "Nobody really loves me"
God says: I love you (John 3:16 & John 3:34 )

You say: "I can't go on"
God says: My grace is sufficient (II Corinthians 12:9 & Psalm 91:15)

You say: "I can't figure things out"
God says: I will direct your steps (Proverbs 3:5-6)

You say: "I can't do it"
God says: You can do all things (Philippians 4:13)

You say: "I'm not able"
God says: I am able (II Corinthians 9:8)

You say: "It's not worth it"
God says: It will be worth it (Roman 8:28 )

You say: "I can't forgive myself"
God says: I Forgive you (I John 1:9 & Romans 8:1)

You say: "I can't manage"
God says: I will supply all your needs (Philippians 4:19)

You say: "I'm afraid"
God says: I have not given you a spirit of fear (II Timothy 1:7)

You say: "I'm always worried and frustrated"
God says: Cast all your cares on ME (I Peter 5:7)

You say: "I'm not smart enough"
God says: I give you wisdom (I Corinthians 1:30)

You say: "I feel all alone"
God says: I will never leave you or forsake you (Hebrews 13:5)

all praise to God..

a question that was bugging me

2008-05-19T20:58:00.003+08:00

a question that was bugging me for a whole day now... was finally answered...

the topic on free-will

how much free-will are we given in life.. and let's say, i choose not to die.. but i still do.. is it still called free-will?..

firstly let's not mix free will and God's will up.. let not be mixed up on the things that is within our powers and control to choose from, with things and issues that we cant..

when we talk about free will it refers to the things we have control over..

similarly, given an example..
can we choose to be in a perfect church where there are no offences and differences over people so that we can worship God without any problems? no, we cant..
but what we can choose is how we are going to response within an imperfect church.. to be bitter over some issues or be forgiving about it like how God forgave us of all our sins..

in the same way..

life and death is not within our control.. it is God's control.. God gave us choices.. just like how He gave power to Adam to name the animals.. but ultimately He is still God.. He is still soveriegn.. He does not need to ask us for permission when He does something.. He dont even need to ask us for permission if He wants to destroy the earth right now..

BUT because of His infinite love, He has given us a chance to choose life over death..
so does man still have free will?
YES! over the things that God has given us control over..

but God is God. the King. we don't question Him and say, 'why can't you let me decide if you are my Creator or the Lord of the universe, because He already is!

the answer is out! all praise to God! (:

taking that step of faith

2008-05-19T18:33:00.002+08:00

i need to take the step of faith..

and go till God says no...

it's all about you

2008-05-19T12:45:00.002+08:00

It's all about you, Jesus

And all this is for you..

For Your glory and Your fame

It's not about me

As if You should do things my way

You alone are God and i surrender

To Your ways

(:

2008-05-18T23:22:00.003+08:00

happy.. sad..
frustrated.. mad..
all these feelings come and go..
but the sequence of events just dont flow

things rush into my head, in and out
all the things i wana shout
it never took long for me to change
even i myself finds it strange

however stress i think i feel
there's just this way that is ideal
i put my trust in the One above
that One i know that i really love..

of the One who loves me so
He sent His son down, this i know
to die for the sins of you and i
this fact was set that none deny..

He rose victorious on the third day
He proved to the world that He is indeed the way
all for love He took all pain
all for love, not a single complain

so who are we, when we whine
as we walk with God in line
each step we take, we take in faith
as we complete this marked out race

when we fall, He is there
not to pick us up, but to help us be aware
that in His strength we will run
towards our home, towards the One

the One i love with all my heart
the One who loves me
and you too..
i pray that you will know Him too..
with all my heart..

what's my next step?

2008-05-15T13:53:00.004+08:00

what is my next step?...

there are so many thing i wana say... but words cannot describe how i am feeling now... school has became a slightly better place to go to... because i have found my purpose of going to school..

All For Love
Hillsongs

All for love, a Father gave
For only love could make a way
All for love, the heavens cried for love was crucified

Oh, how many times have I broken Your heart
But still You forgive if only I ask
And how many times have You heard me pray
Draw near to me

Everything I need is You
My beginning, my forever
Everything I need is You

Let me sing all for love
I will join the angel song
Ever holy is the Lord
King of glory, King of all

All for love a Savior prayed
Abba Father, have Your way
Though they know not what they do
Let the cross draw man to You,
to You
To You, to You

if only

2008-05-14T18:54:00.003+08:00

if only things were easy..
if only life was easier..
if only i knew more..
if only God would tell me more..
if only he knew..
if only i had no school..
if only i had no problems..
if only all these would go away..

Isaiah 55:9
9 “ For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
So are My ways higher than your ways,
And My thoughts than your thoughts. "

Proverbs 14:12
12 There is a way that seems right to a man,
But its end is the way of death.

Proverbs 21:2
2 Every way of a man is right in his own eyes,
But the LORD weighs the hearts.

the ways of the Lord are higher than me..
the Lord indeed has a more beautiful plan for me than me..
i may think that all these are right, but to God..
He has prepared a plan for me that i believe in a way to show that He loves me..

no matter how many times i think that things will be better in my ways.. may the Lord still allow me to walk in His plans for me.. no matter how many times i want to control my own life, may the Lord forgive me and allow me to walk in His light...

no matter how much i want to tell him... may He grant me the patience to keep waiting...

just a thought...

2008-05-13T21:47:00.002+08:00

The existence of man is the proof of the existence of God..

God is a creator and man likes to invent..
God defines right and wrong and man enjoy deciding for themselves what's right and wrong.
God is the rule of the universe and man enjoy ruling, even if it is just over their own lives and surroundings.

For man is but the image of God...

Ultimately, it is by faith that God exists.
When you have no faith, God is dead in you.
But when you have faith, you'll see Him.
And faith not of any kind but by the Word of God.

if i was given the chance to say

2008-05-13T08:38:00.005+08:00

if i was given the chance to say.. i would say...

the necessity for purpose..

God created this world, to have a perfect relationship with man..
yet, man sinned...
and were seperated from God because of His holiness...
God hates sin, God cannot tolerate sin... yet at the same time God is love...

God had made a way out for us!
He sent Jesus, His one and only beloved Son, down to die on the cross for us...
God hating sin.. sent His only Son down to become sin to die for us...
and Christ lead a sinless life... became sin for us..
God is love yet God is holy... He needed to punish someone for all our sins..
He took all this upon Jesus..

but wait! that's not the end of the story..
on the third day, Christ resurrected and conquered death!
Through the resurrection, we can live a new life in Him
we can have a life with hope..
giving us another chance to be reconciled with God...

so what is our true purpose on earth?
why are we brought to this earth? to study?
to work till 60, then retired? to have a nice family?

there is gotta be something more than this...
there is Someone waiting for you to acknowledge Him..
there is Someone who prepared the way out for us when we were condemned..
there is Someone who loves us more than anyone on earth
there is Someone who will never lie to us..
there is THIS Someone who is knocking at the door of your heart right now!

open the door of your heart to Him...
you will NEVER regret the life spent with Him..
I have never... and i believe, i will never regret the life spent with Him..

having once again, that relationship with God that He had planned for us..
then knowing that.. do His will... living life to the fullest that He has planned for us...

This is our purpose in life..
this is why we are here for.. this is the real reason!

Come for our ever-first Destiny Impact Youth Conference this 20th June and 21st June to know more about this Someone

Who did so much just to have our attention and love..

Interested, please do let me know, i promise that you will not regret it!

John 3:16 For God so loved the world, that He gave His only Begotten Son, that WHOSOEVER believed in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.

iConstruct

2008-05-12T20:06:00.004+08:00

i just finished my version of iConstruct (: yea! (: not as beautiful as my sister, Carol's one.. but at least, i did it on own.. (: hehe (:

Global Day Of Prayer

2008-05-12T07:50:00.002+08:00

a night that changed my life.. a night that made me realised once again... i need to be serious with the Lord...

on the way to GDOP... i was on the bus... just complaining to Ivy, on how tired i was... and i asked her.. what is the reason that I am here for?... without a second thought, 'to pray..' then again... upon reaching the place... i caught up with Carol.. was sharing to her one of my 'deepest secret' (: then i asked her also... what is the reason that i am here for?... again, without a blink of her eyes.. 'to pray...' i told God.. wow... you really want me to pray huhh... give me a third confirmation..

as we were seated in indoor stadium.. waiting for the event to start, i asked Steven 'can you tell me, what is the reason that i am here for?'... again Steven said.. 'to pray..' yes, it is quite obvious that we went there to pray, since the event is Global Day of Prayer... but more than that... i needed to know God.. God wanted me to know very clearly why i was there...

God wanted me to re-focus my eyes back on Him.. how did i know that?.. after praise and worship.. Pastor Edmund Chan came up and share with us the agenda of God... to love Him with all our hearts, our soul, our mind, our strength.. reasons why we often fail...
- i am hurt
- i doubt
- i cant
- im too busy

it spoke straight to me... like a double edged sword, it pierced right in.. for the first hour.. as i prayed with Carol and Angeline.. i cried.. i kneel and cried.. i worship and cried.. God wanted the broken me.. the one that didnt say 'God, i think i can do this on my own..' He wanted the one that screams aloud 'God, I NEED YOU MORE!'

by the time we ended.. it was 10:30pm.. i was thinking to God.. God i need to go school tmr.. if by the time we reached home is 12mn.. im really tired... i was asking God to help me... as i was in the car of Uncle Kah Mun.. God told me something that convicted me.. 'I will not give you more time to rest... rather i will give you My strength to to carry on for the day..'

all these time, i was telling God.. i need rest... beginning of the year, God told me to rest.. i thought rest meant, more sleep... more free time to spent with Him... but nope.. this year had been a crazy year for me.. as FYP starts to pile up... i began to find lesser time for God.. lesser time to rest.. at times where i just scream out to God.. 'God, i thought You told me to rest? why am i working harder than any other years?' and then that night... the words of God struck me... He will not give me more time to sleep.. more time to 'slack' around.. but rather.. whenever i asked for His strength, He WILL give it to me..

more than often, i always ask God to give me more time to rest... all these while, i wanted more sleep... but that was not the plans of God.. God wanted me to tap on His strength... everything that we do.. we do it using God's strength.. cuz all these are things that God wants us to do... we do it in the name of the Lord!

All glory be unto the Father! (:

a life decision

2008-05-05T22:41:00.004+08:00

If there is one song that allows me to renew my decision in Christ.. it will have to be this song..

powerful song, that came really timely.. and the whole song just speaks so much..

it speaks about how much we need to follow Christ, and how much we need to be serious with Him as He is being serious with us.

as i listen to this song, it is like Christ asking me once again, to be serious with Him and He wants to be serious with me.. to be focus on Him and He is willing to spend more time with me, if i would spend more time with Him too.

just realised my RJ answer ydae was so true.. in my group, i cant always be the one asking them how is their progress, if they had any questions, etc. but they should take the initiative to ask me and i will be more than willing to help them... isnt it so true for God too?... the only difference is that, God will be outside your heart, keep asking you, 'can i come in today?', 'let me comfort your broken heart', 'I want to be in your life', 'would you make Me Lord over your life today?' and the most powerful three words ' I love you'

Christ's love for us is NOTHING like the world's love..

1 Corinthians 13:4-13 (NKJV)

4 Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; 5 does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil;

6 does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth;

7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

8 Love never fails. But whether there are prophecies, they will fail; whether there are tongues, they will cease; whether there is knowledge, it will vanish away.

9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part.

10 But when that which is perfect has come, then that which is in part will be done away.

11 When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things.

12 For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part, but then I shall know just as I also am known.

13 And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love.

As i was just mediating on a simple verse today, John 3:16, i have heard it so many times, since young... this verse is not only a verse easy to remember, but it holds a lot of truths...

John 3:16 (NKJV)

16 For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.

For God SO LOVED this world.. this world including you and me, the neighbour staying on your left and right, above you.. the uncle that you saw across the road and needed help to cross the road, the classmate in your class that you think is the most irritating person on earth, the friend that you thought is your best friend, but betrayed you, your best friend since when kindergarden.. the guy that sat beside you on mrt today, the girl that was sitting across you on the bus yesterday... all these people.. God created them, knew each of them by hair, just like how He knows us...

He loves all these people, that He GAVE His ONLY Son for us! how many parents would give their ONLY Son to save other people? and that WHOEVER believes in Him should not perish.. whoever... not the smarter ones in class.. not the more pretty looking people.. but WHOEVER.. believes in Him should not perish, BUT have everlasting life.. everlasting...

eve your mum's nagging, dad's scolding is not everlasting.. your loved ones' love is not everlasting.. everything that you can see and touch on this earth will not be everlasting... the only everlasting thing is Christ and Christ love for us. the only thing to hope for is in Christ..

i have learnt through the hard way on how much Christ loved me... but im grateful that i am still alive serving Him... i could have died in a million and one way through my life, but God was there all along... I love You, Lord.

I pray that the song will speak to you as much as how it has spoken to me.. God bless. (:
Below is the the video of the song.

Crossroad
Andy Philip

Verse 1:

Dawn breaks

You wake

And find yourself at this crossroad

Verse 2:

Look back

At the trails of yesterday

Where are you heading today

Pre-Chorus 1:

Dark clouds amidst the clear blue sky

A rain is coming from out of sight

The sound of promise calls out to you

Chorus 1:

Pick up your cross

And follow me

Through this narrow road

I'll lead you home

Through the toughest storms

You'll never be alone

Give up your life

And follow me

Every step of the way

I'm in control

So pick up your cross

Right here at this crossroad

Pre-Chorus 2:

Dark clouds amidst the clear blue sky

The rain is coming from out of sight

You don't have to be left behind

Bridge:

Just as you are

Come, follow me

Just as you are

Come, follow me

Just as I am

I've come to follow You -- today

Just as I am

I've come to follow You -- today

Chorus 2:

I pick up my cross

And follow You

Through this narrow road

Until I'm home

Through the toughest storms

I'll cling and not let go

I give up my life

To follow You

Every step I take

You're in control

I'm heading home

Departing from this crossroad

it has been a month

2008-05-04T22:09:00.002+08:00

it has been a month since i last did my quiet time.. it has been a month since i last truely spoke to God.. it has been a month since i last really walked with Him... during this month.. while i tried to share Christ with my friends... i wasnt successful... but God prevailed me through.. then on Fri, Sat and Sun, i realised why.. because my relationship with God was not right in the first place..

indeed God has commissioned us to share His word to everyone.. but before that, we are to be disciples ourselves.. our relationship has to be set right before we go out to share His word, otherwise.. there would be a time where there are questions that will be asked and you would be caught off guard... keeping out relationship right with Him, not only to enable us to share.. but also to show others that indeed the God we serve is different...

all these time, i thought i was walking right.. when i found myself being really exhuasted.. then i realised i was burnt out.. seriously.. yet during Fri(girls' prayer), Sat(youth service) and Sun(main service).. i realised that God was calling me back to repent and follow Him again.. He has great plans for me and i wana fulfil the destiny that God called me to and in order to do that, i need the obedience to follow God.. and i also want to desire to want to know God more to continue burning... once again... on that church stage, God gave me the desire to draw back to Him.. but it doesnt stop there... it is just the beginning of many things to come... and this time, i want to rise up victorious in His name to glorify His name more! (:

All heaven declares the glory of His risen name! (:

Just that one

2008-04-30T18:57:00.002+08:00

there are 6 billion people in this world & sometimes all you need is one <3

from Audrey's blog (:

yet.. sometimes, it is so true... it is just that someone that can make you smile.. (:

school

2008-04-28T15:18:00.002+08:00

today's school was interesting... my three different meetings are held in three different places.. (:

first meeting - E62B lab
meeting 2 - Library
meeting 3 - W67H (:

hehe... firstly cuz the school had people to glue stuff during lesson time, the glue happily travel along the whole level. slowly the whole level could smell it.. i smelt it for a good 1/2 hr... so i think, my brain cell died at least half... it was really smelly... so we moved to the library...

after that, because we had to present during meeting 3, we need a 'proper' classroom.. at first we went to the library meeting room but cannot project our presentation.. so we then moved to W67H, empty classroom (: nice travelling today... haha.. a

atleast i dun need to smell the smell of glue... IT IS SMELLY! (:

sunday+monday morning (:

2008-04-27T21:47:00.003+08:00

so many people has been asking me about the website... i do not upload the webpages de!! argh!! getting frustrated.. but nvm... (: i shall not take offences.. not healthy for the body (:

a got a whole bottle of emotions that i cannot explain.. all emotions being mashed up and squashed in a little bottle.. hope i can pour it all out and iron them all nicely, so that it wouldnt be so messy...

but more than that, im exhausted... after completing the youth website.. i am happy that it is completed (: more importantly, after i have completed.. i still have school.. so during this time, school became really tiring.. really... and the only reason why i am in school today, it is by God's grace and strength.. without his strength, i think i will just faint of fatigue and exhuastion..

i learnt my lesson from the youth website, while doing the website, i didnt really rely on His strength, because i guess, i was so caught up in completing it as soon as possible that i kinda relied on my own strength.. after i compeleted it... it was really really tiring.. seriously exhuasted, for the first time, during a school day i slept at 1 plus and woke up the next day around 6 plus for school.. it was not easy.. but today as i was on my way to school.. God reminded me that i can rely on his strength and not do this alone..

like i have repeated a lot of times, i really hate school.. seriously... but, in order to complete this, i need motivation... the ONLY motivation i have is to glorify God in school.. that's all... giving God the highest honor that i can bring.. it might be just something little and small, but i still want to give God the glory.. God brought me into RP for a reason... until beginning of year 3 then i realised what it was... by then, i only had one year to do it... so i want to do it well for Him!! (:

(:

Majesty

2008-04-26T23:44:00.000+08:00

Majesty (Here I Am)

Verse
Here I am humbled by your Majesty
Covered by your grace so free
Here I am, knowing I'm a sinful man
Covered by the blood of the Lamb

Now I've found the greatest love of all is mine
Since you laid down your life
The greatest sacrifice

Chorus
Majesty, Majesty
Your grace has found me just as I am
Empty handed, but alive in your hands

Majesty, Majesty
Forever I am changed by your love
In the presence of your Majesty

Verse
Here I am humbled by the love that you give
Forgiven so that I can forgive
Here I stand, knowing that I'm your desire
Sanctified by glory and fire

Simple song... powerful meaning...

(:

2008-04-22T23:22:00.003+08:00

seeing Sean's entry... last paragraph.. make me feel like writing about 'him' - not referring to Sean (: ... (: but since my command of english is not strong, and im lousy at giving hints... i might give obvious hint right?... haha... oh well.. dont take the risk right?... haha

free at last!

i have hurt a sister, that i didnt know that i hurt her so much.. though there were obstacles for me to overcome those times of tears... but at the same time, it had hurt her too.. i took 3-4 months to master those courage to say those few sentences... but i guess, i could have done so much more..

i regretting hurting my sister, yet at the same time, im happy it is finally been said out.. i would say that, i would be able to focus worshipping the Lord soon! on my part, took me so long to overcome those fear, doubts... with help from God and my brothers and sisters in Christ helping me along, some not truely knowing what actually happen also... some just lending their really warm shoulders for me to cry on... and hugs to encourage me to carry on..

being free from worries, doubts feels really free.. haha... and another task is ahead of me... it would be another few months of doing this task.. but i dun wana give up.. i want to pull through and succeed in the end in Christ!

In Christ Alone, I place my trust (:

untitled

2008-04-21T08:29:00.003+08:00

loneliness always finds its ways to me..

mmm

2008-04-18T07:55:00.002+08:00

there are a lot of lessons to learn from my this sem.. not academically... but spiritually... everything looked on the surface.. tension in class is slowly building up... it is not easy to overcome it, especially you are the person involved.. and/or even the person invovled... friend...

God always reminded me, to not keep grudges... not to gossip... but to forgive and forget and love... hard instructions.. but i wana follow and remember them! (: lesson time.. (:

BOSS

2008-04-14T20:50:00.002+08:00

i got this from a website ( http://thedreamweaver.wordpress.com/tag/christian-writing/).. didn't know how i got there also.. perhaps God is trying to speak to me about something.. it really touched my heart and i hope it touched you too.. (: Have i forgotten about what God wants me to do, in my course of study?.. entering in just the second week of school and i feel that i am so lost in studies...

THE BOSS

I stared at the computer screen in disbelief. It was Monday 8:11 am, just about the time I checked my email every morning, that routinary thing that I do when I want to put off the rest of the day. My coffee was blowing off smoke, in all its instantness. I have a wonderful cup of instant coffee to cap my day, two boiled eggs bought from the tiny, incompetent cafeteria, to get that important kick in the shin that I need to work.

The screen loomed a shadow on my face. It was an email from THE BOSS. That was how I referred to him behind his back. It sent chills down my spine. How could he know that I called him that? And was even stranger about the email was that it did not have a “from” email” address, like it was created out of thin air. It said:Lunch Meeting with THE BOSS. 7th Floor, Room 77. Try to be early, hard boiled eggs and apple juice will be served as food and refreshment.

Very funny. My boss had never been much of a comedian, except when he sported that tiny smirk on his face when he saw all the post-it notes around my screen. Remind yourself to look at your reminders every morning too, he said. That was that solitary day when he decided to crack the solitary joke. It was like hearing bongos in a Catholic church. It sounded very strange.
How did he know that I ate exactly two hard boiled eggs every morning? I wondered that to myself as I absentmindedly minimized and maximized the window. I’ve always tried to hide that fact from my boss, because he once made a comment that I took breaks too frequently. Hey, that’s why it’s called breakfast. Gimme a break. Literally.

I was pissed. What could this be about now? Is this man ever happy? The cursor lingered at the delete button for a while, before I moved it to “Move to sent folder.”. There was something about that email that made me want me to keep it.

I took a deep breath. I was in the elevator and my anxiety was growing. There were exactly seven people in the elevator, including me. I had just come from the basement to get some gum in the car. I was one of those dental hygiene freaks that was paranoid about bad breath. The worst thing about having conspicuously questionable performance at work was having conspicuously questionable breath while you talked to your boss about it. The elevator made exactly seven stops, one at each floor. Everybody picked a good day to use that elevator. It was so ironic.

When I got to the seventh floor, I was all alone. Everybody had been dropped off. I cleared my mouth, moistened my lips and spit out the gum. I started walking towards room 77. I was mildly nervous because of the little illicit things that I’d been doing at work. He must have developed some system of supervising me, I thought. He must know that I’ve obsessively been looking at this website called ESCAPIST.COM for reasons that are indicated in the website domain when I was bored or I wanted to kill time. He must know that I punch in before I go to the restroom after lunch break, thus making my break a little longer.

He’s going to tell me that I’m this big fraud, that yes, in my job as a proofreader, I have the most impeccable grammar, and worked twice as fast as the past girls, but that wasn’t going to cover up my tiny misdemeanors. He’s gonna know that have AIM conversations with my online boyfriend from Hawaii when he was out to his lunch meetings. Oh, the terror of being discovered. It made getting fired seem exhilarating.

I stopped at room 77. This is it.

“Come in.” I looked at the door. I was just about to knock. How did he know?

I went in, and his back was turned. He was walking towards the big glass window and I followed him, observing how his back looked different from the last time I saw it, yesterday. His voice sounded different too. Oddly, the voice sounded familiar though, like I’ve heard it many times in my sleep.

“Do you recognize my voice?”

“Mr. Powers, I’m really sorry for the glitches in my performance. You don’t have to intimidate me. I’ll listen,” I said, all my thoughts coming out in a word bundle.

‘My sheep know my voice and they follow me,” he said. He finally turned around and I saw him. He had soft, brown kind eyes and soft masculine hair that framed his face. It was curly. He had some facial hair, and was wearing a white shirt. On it was printed, “Yes, In a heartbeat.” He had an earring.

An earring? I thought incredulously. It had a tiny cross on it.. “Mr. Powers, you look really different” I swallowed. “But good. You look really good.”

“Do you recognize me, Abby? I called you today because I’ve wanted to talk to you since that day. Since that day when the light in your heart died. That day when routine became your favorite word. When did you start changing?”

“Who are you?”

“You know who I am. I gave you that talent. The talent with the pen and the blank sheet of paper. I gave you the power to fill it with words that heal and give life. Instead, you threw the pen away for that keyboard, and the blank sheet with the templates that you edit. Are you happy?”

“Excuse me?”

“Are you happy with what you do?”

“Well, I’m not going to say happy, but I’m not going to say…”

‘Miserable?”

“Mr. Powers, if you just want to fire me, I’ll take it. I’ll take it like a woman.” I waited for that smirk on his face. It didn’t come.

“I have another job offer for you,” he said matter-of-factly, like it was an impossibility for me to say no.

I opened my mouth to talk, but he already knew.

“The pay is half of what you’re getting now. All benefits are covered though. The Father knows what you need before you ask him. Joy is a natural consequence. A bigger room in Heaven is the bonus.”

Why does he keep on quoting scripture? Why is he talking about heaven? I was really getting confused now.

“Abby, here’s what I want you to do. Go to work the next week, like you always do, do your routine. But the first thing I want you to do is tell that woman you buy hard boiled eggs from every morning that she should visit her daughter who’s dying of cancer. Then tell Mr. Powers that he should quit smoking and tell him to go him to his wife. Tell him to break up with his mistress. After this, tell the receptionist to stop dating a married man. Then quit your job.
After quitting your job, I want you to write about the first time you met me, and how you’ve met me again. I want you to tell the world.”

My eyes widened. “Dorotthy and Mr. Powers? Wait a minute, if you’re not Mr. Powers, who are you?”

“A good friend, Abby. A very good friend.”

I looked at his kind eyes. I felt sadness, fear and misery wash out from me then it was a wave of quiet joy. I threw my arms around him all of a sudden, not able to resist the urge. I touched his hand. It had a huge wound. A hole.

Like a nail had been driven down his palm.

All of a sudden, I knew. Then he disappeared, leaving me with joyous tears and an overflowing heart.

I felt a pang of regret that I hadn’t asked him that question that I’d always wanted to ask him since I first met him.

“Would you do for me again if you had to do it over?”

Then I realized that the answer was right in front of me. “Yes, in a heartbeat.”

A Simple Faith

2008-04-14T14:14:00.001+08:00

a simple song that reminds me that i need to have simple faith...
this song just speaks to me everytime i listen to it.. all the words speak to me so much.. (:

A Simple Faith
Andy Philip

Verse 1:
I’m refreshed this morning
I’m surrounded by His glory
I’m alive and well
By His grace and mercy

Verse 2:
A brand new day before me
Given to please my only King
Obedience is what I’ll need
To live by faith in Him

Pre-Chorus:
I’m drawing near
Drawing close to You
And I stand before You
With the door to my heart opened up to You

Chorus:
I just need You
You satisfy me
You look down from Heaven above
You hear me when I pray

I just need You
You satisfy me
I look up to Heaven above
I stand amazed
At Your love

Bridge:
Every word I sing came from my heart
I won’t stop loving You
Though I cannot see You

I believe in You
With this simple faith
Just like a child

Ending:
And I thank You
And I thank You
And I thank You for everything
For everything

about my previous post (:

2008-04-11T22:50:00.002+08:00

about my previous post.. hope i didnt scare anyone arhs.. heheh.. not really wana cry la.. but just quite frustrating, when everyday i need to sit in the canteen to wait till like 8.15 then proceed to the lab to wait for the facilitator to come and open the lab... judging on the time i come to school, 7.45.. it is a good half hour...

imagine... it is only the first week! haha... but it is okayy..

this week.. i can finally say.. it is over!! woohoo!! haha (: people may say im siao.. but im happy this week is over.. the time where we 'first' meet all my 'new' classmates is finally over.. which also means that introduction to all the modules is over too.. which means that easy days of presentations are over le.. next will be technical and hard stuff coming.. except for one module that still has java coding.. THANK GOD!! (:

hehehe... i got my first grade.. once again, i wana thank God.. though it was not an ideal grade.. but nonetheless, i thank God for it, cuz it could have been worse.. yea.. wana really just not hold on to the grades... the more i hold on, the stronger this bondage of results will be in me..

God has been speaking to me through the week... just today.. He showed me something, while waiting for Guo Ping.. complicated to write it here.. but i thank God that even though of my irregular hours of quiet time, sometimes, even neglecting.. He never fails to refresh me with His word, voice and a song.. (:

everyday, a different song will be places in my head.. and singing it the whole day, makes me smile the whole day.. no matter how difficult the module is.. i some how would be able to get through it.. simply because i know God is good.. (: and i have the love of God! (: and i praise God!! (:

God has also places a burden in my heart for the lost... it is really heavy.. on my way home, in the train, as i see people, 'bonded' by the 'religious bands' on their wrist and neck.. i can sense the Spirit of God that really wants to set them free from all these and love them so freely...

thinking about all these.. i really am grateful to God for allowing me to know Him and love Him... though i have strayed so many times away from Him, He never gave up on me, never fail to draw me back with His love.. (:

I love my Daddy God! (:

i want to cry

2008-04-11T07:57:00.001+08:00

can i cry?

school so far

2008-04-10T21:09:00.002+08:00

3 schools days have past... hmmm... i dunno what to say... interesting though... like my tues class (: like my thurs class too (: not sure about tmr... hahaha...

got my first grade.. a little disappointing... but kinda expected it... (: so.. oh well (:

im tired.. after this week of adjusting myself sleeping at 10.. waking up at 6.15... not easy to adjust.. but God's strength really worked in me.. i will be dead tired.. but His strength is like.. injected into me.. and being the most tired me on thurs, i was most filled with energy today (:

it was indeed great (:

last weekday of holiday

2008-04-04T01:30:00.002+08:00

my last weekday of my 10 weeks holiday.... preparing for an exciting last year with my baby (: not boyfriend.. my apple baby... hehehe... (: not really looking forward to it de.. but oh well... gonna tackle it sooner or later de ma... haha.. (:

entering this new school year.. i feel that it is gonna be so so so different... this 10 weeks of holidays really changed me a lot.. allowed me to grow into a daughter following the heart of God a little closer.. (: and im grateful for it (:

entering it with once again, hopes of getting a full GPA... haha.. and doing well in my FYP... (: though nervous what will happen.. but i know God is in control.. He brought me through 2 years of it... it is like.. wow!! cant imagine i am in RP for 2 years le! hahaha.. last year.. end it well!! (: yea! graduate with a dip with distinction!! give glory to God!! (:

All praise and honor and glory be unto God.. (:

I love you Daddy God (:

God's love letter

2008-04-02T01:29:00.002+08:00

God's love letter to you

take 10 mins... and just really watch this video.. dont do anything while watching this.. let God really speak to you and touch you..

it did for me... so very powerfully.. made me realise how much i was straying away from Him, because of me doing so many things i thought i was doing for Him... but all He actually wanted was my time with Him... (:

just a short note for my Daddy God..

Dear Daddy,

I love You, too.

Love,
Your Child,
Violet Joy.

Romans 12:17-21

2008-03-29T22:26:00.002+08:00

17Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. 18If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. 19Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay," says the Lord. 20On the contrary: "If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head." 21Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

this verse keeps popping up whenever i read His word..mmm.. wonder what is God trying to tell me from this..

being backstabbed by people that you love, is no joke, no fun thing. in fact it is just about the opposite.. trusting in the person that he/she would make the correct decision ends up wrong.. it is really hurtful.. and after that.. all that we want to do is to pay back for what the person has done.. this world of revenge... God has said.. He will take revenge on behalf of us.. sometimes, we find ourselves being in the position of ktaing revenge.. cuz like what the world says.. revenge is sweet.. it attracts us so much to just take that little revenge to appease our human self.. but more so, we end up sinning and end up hurting the Lord.. what for right?...

let's talk about Sean for a while.. since everyone says that he is my new found buddy.. (:
indeed our friendship started off with his last duty on drums during chinese new year.. and my first official vocals' duty during chinese new year..
started off with he wanting the songs for the chinese new year service.. then somehow the Spirit leads us to a pretty engrossing conversation.. (:
but i thank him for his guidance.. (: first convo started at 2 feb 08.. till now.. less than 2 months?.. and he became my dearest friend, someone that i would find second or third when i got problems.. first is of cuz God (: but i am so grateful that God has placed Sean in my life as a very close friend.. a friend that confirmed a lot of things from God.. and i am greatly amazed at how God is working through us to do His will.. the timing is just so perfect... there is no better way to design this and God just is so perfect.. (:

well.. i thank God for placing Sean in my life... this brother of mine has greatly encouraged me so much and from Him i have come to realised God's will for me and the seriousness of God's business (:

All praise to God (:

great trials

2008-03-27T23:12:00.002+08:00

great trials ahead... i see.. but somehow for relationship wise.. i want to stand firm in Him.. i choose to ignore all distractions (: but fix my eyes towards Him.. no matter how tough it is going to get.. clinging on to the promise i have in Him and hoping towards that, i pray that i would go through it.. more than me.. i pray for my dearest sister.. that she would not fail the Lord.. and that she will not fall away despite of anything...

the more i see all these trails.. the more i believe God loves me and has a beautiful plan for me.. and He is pruning me to be more beautiful, so that i can bear more fruits for Him and glorify Him.. (:

All praise and honor be unto the Father (:

new beginning

2008-03-27T01:44:00.003+08:00

new laptop.. new beginning..

the start of a lot of designing projects coming up.. (:

well.. this laptop.. as promised.. will be dedicated during youth.. yeap..

after all this is a gift from God.. so whatever that i can help. i will.. in this case.. youth.. (:

cuz everytime Grace will be bringing hers.. now i have my apple.. yeap.. im bringing mine.. (:

things that i encourage my friends... sometimes, it speaks so me so much more..

having faith.. this i need a lot of.. i tell people to have faith.. and i see them grow..

why cant i tell myself that? and grow so much more in the Lord too?... mmm.. self-reflection time.. (:

Christ taught us one powerful lesson that humans will never reach.. loving people with an agape love.. agape love teaches us to love without expecting anything back.. this is something that overflows from within us.. that we need to learn to use the overflowing to bless others. that they might come to know God loves them too (:

all praise and glory to be God alone..

residue of remains

2008-03-25T22:27:00.002+08:00

memories of those scenes just huant me at times...
i have done wrong..
i admit it..
yet.. how much i wanted to explain myself...
i just couldnt..

all these time, i couldnt serve God in the ways that He wants me to.. due to this problem...
i really want to serve Him with a free heart.. a heart not burdened with fear and doubts.. these are problems that hinders me greatly..

i want to overcome everything that hinders me.. and go in faith!
that does not mean solving the problem now..
but it means overcoming the fear i have towards her..
which require overcoming faith..

more than often, we feel small and unworthy..
but those are lies from the devil that we should not listen to..
rather.. look towards God and find strength in Him..
look towards Christ and find peace in Him..
for what He been through was everything that we are going through right now..
He has been through everything and He understands how you feel..
He really does..
He has been through rejections. disappointments.
He has been through sufferings. joy. peace. sadness.
He has been through the heart aches. tears. stress.
He has been through loneliness. togetherness.
He has been through nervousness. fear.
He has been through successes. failures.
He has been through everything that you are going through and in the future whatever that you are going to face...
are you going to find rest and comfort in Him..
people comfort you and say they understand what you are going through.. do they truely?..
i believe strongly that Jesus understands it better than anyone of us..

even if you are going through good times, and you feel that you dont need God..
when i go through good times.. all the more i remind myself to thank God and remember God.. cuz without Him, i wouldnt have these good times..

I thank Him for my family, friends, loved ones, that is when He assures me that He has not put me alone in this earth to suffer pains and sufferings alone..
I thank Him for the perfect plan that He has for me, that is when He assures me He is in control..
I thank Him for the gifts that He has given to me, that is when He assures me that with the gift, i am able to excerise it and bless my other brother and sister in Christ and my other friends.
I thank Him for the things that He has given me, that is when He assures me He is the God that provides..
I thank Him for the results that He has given me in school, that is when He proves to man that i am not stupid..
I thank Him for the good times, that is when He rewards me and teaches me more lessons..
I thank Him more for the bad times, that is when i learn more about myself and change for the better..
I thank Him for His love for me, simply because He loves me.. (:
I thank Him for the difficult situations that He put me in, that is when He teaches me to trust in Him more..
I thank Him for the lessons that He teaches me because that is when He shows me He loves me and wants me to change for His glory..

this list goes on.. there are so many things that i want to thank Him and glorify Him about..
everything that i have done.. i dont want any glory for myself.. things that i have done well.. it is all by God's grace and God's help..
i want to trust in Him.. i am learning and i want to learn it well.. i dont wana fall half way... i wana meet Him face to face and hear Him say 'well done, good and faithful servant..'
all these that i do.. it is for the end..
the process is crucial.. having to suffer in this temporary world and enjoying eternity for the rest of my life.. than enjoying in this temporal world and losing my salvation in Christ for eternity..

God is a God who loves us.. that is why He disciples us.. which father does not discipline his own child that he loves.. more so our heavenly Father..

difficult situations comes our way.. that is not a chance for us to fall.. but more so, cling on the Christ and relying on His strength to go through it.. it is not easy..

i experience it on sunday.. it is totally not easy.. i struggled so hard.. in the end.. having the determination.. but not completing obey what the Lord said..

i still had to go through the consequences.. that mere decision of mine, meant i had lack of faith.. i had doubt in God.. more than often i encourage my friends to have faith in Him.. i myself had to learn this lesson.. a tough lesson.. but i dont wana fail...

i wana glorify Him and solve this with God leading me through it.. i wana face it with God's love, peace and confidence.. (:

All praise and glory be unto the Father..

a sunday reflection

2008-03-25T01:04:00.002+08:00

sunday.. wouldnt said to be a bad, horrible day... in fact.. i would say that it was a day that God showed me so much more..

in obedience to Him.. i learnt that desires of the heart are not always desires of God, even though you are doing something under His instructions..

in obedience to Him.. i learnt that people reject you.. i have never faced any 'major' rejections before.. so rejections for me before sunday was still a pretty foreign word to me.. but when it hit me.. before i could react rationally, i broke down.. according to steven, i cried for a long time... with the prayers of steven and the comforts from God-sent god brother, denny.. i stopped gradually.. it was indeed painful.. i wanted to just sit in blessing room all day.. but God had other plans... He wanted me to reach out to the friends i invited for the concert.. quickly, the smile returned to my face.. joy was restored indeed.. just hanging around with steven, denny and andy really comforted me too..

in the midst of all these.. i didnt realise that i was a little angry with God.. for giving me that type of 'ending' till at night.. the battle began when i entertained thoughts that the devil started to drop in my head.. this time, the voice of the devil was really loud and strong 'you couldnt do it..' 'you did not do what God told you to do exactly' 'you are lousy' 'do you think you are worthy enough for Jesus to die for you?' i couldnt block them away... it was so strong.. encouragements from God did come.. softly.. gently.. 'i came for the unworthy..' i died for you'.. because it was soft.. it quickly was overwhelmed by the devil..

taking up my bible.. felt a rejection towards it, i placed it down again.. tried to pray, words couldnt come out at all.. plans to drop everything that i have in Christ and everything that i believe was coming to me so strongly... then Eunice came with her words of encouragement from God... allowing me to remember once again that i am not forgotten by God.. and God still does love me very much.. that i needed to know and cling on to again.. and i thank God that He kept to His promise that He will never left me nor forsake me..

the devil didnt stop there.. he still wanted his way.. after that.. he filled in his thoughts again.. this time thoughts of temptations... temptations to drop everything i have.. all the worries. troubles and just leave.. then a visualised thought came to me..

i am sitting at the edge of the cliff.. looking down to nothingness.. to a normal person it might look not really tempting to just jump off.. but to me.. the temptation was to leave everything that i have in Christ and just jump and forget everything.. and behind me was a road that continues on.. then there was 2 people.. the devil and Jesus.. the devil was tempting me to jump and leave.. Jesus was standing just a little distance away from me.. and waiting for me to continue this walk with Him.. of cuz to any Christian, we would choose to walk with Christ.. for me.. i sat there thinking about the possibility of both sides.. and this took me a good morning and early afternoon to think about it.. and even as Sean encourages me to choose the correct one... i felt i needed to make the decision quick.. the longer i drag, the more inviting the temptation would sound.. so i kneel down and told God about my decision.. and then He restored me...

He restored me of His love, joy, grace, peace, presence and Holy Spirit... it was given to me again.. was really glad... John Bevere said once that he would go crazy living just one second without under Jesus's protection.. i truely agree...

i give God all the glory and honor and everything that He has done in my life.. i truely love Him and this easter, i remembered that He died for me and for everyone out there... every suffering He took upon Himself it was all done in love..

He loved us so much that He chose to die for us.. it was not an easy death.. but He chose to die this way.. God, truely.. my life is Yours.. i do only your will.. (: I love you Lord..

from the bottom of my heart (:

2008-03-24T00:47:00.002+08:00

from the bottom of my heart.. to my beloved Eunice (: a girl that i would never expect God to use to encourage me.. but God used her and it was really powerful.. i really want to thank her for her encouraging post for me on her shared blog with janice and becca.. (:

really a lovely girl and i look up to her as a leader as well.. though we might not seem really close.. but i believe we are in the same body of Christ.. so we are close! (: really thankful for a sister as her.. timely encouragement from God.. thanks again (:

special entry

2008-03-19T23:26:00.003+08:00

special entry.. not really an update.. just to promote someone's new EP.. Mr. Andy Philip Sng (:

the link has been published, on the right of my blog.. (: listen to it and let God speak to you (:

just a quick glance at all the titles for the EP.

1) A Year After
2) A New Creation
3) In You I Rest My Faith
4) A Simple Faith

A simple faith espcially spoke deeply to me, because a simple faith is exactly what i needed. a simple faith is exactly what God wants me to have to work through me.. (:

another update

2008-03-14T22:31:00.002+08:00

it is just another update that i dunno what to write.. (: but i guess, i would not update till my apple baby is here (: yipee! i can't wait!! (:

a mac book pro is coming on its way!! (: wait for it with me people!! (:

seen the light

2008-03-12T02:36:00.002+08:00

after a whole day of distractions.. frustrations.. and what God revealed to me through visions and my dearest brother.. God's plan is indeed flawless.. He plans every detail of a person's life..to the every second of it! it was not easy enduring the whole day.. going to ntu, getting my laptop, then discussing on TOP SECRET stuff, with TOP SECRET people! (:

dealing with distractions, as confirmed by someone... hmmm... then the vision at night was.... the major point of the night... after that, sharing with a brother of mine... then a lot of revelations came.. another gift was revealed to me.. yet to be confirmed by God.. but yes, i will pray about it.. (: All praise be unto God! All glory be unto Him! (:

stirring

2008-03-11T21:47:00.001+08:00

there is a stirring in my heart that i have no idea what it is.. im not sure if it is a frustration from the show that i am watching... or what.. but it is getting me really irritated and frustrated.. sigh...

the whole heaven rejoices

2008-03-09T23:58:00.002+08:00

THE WHOLE HEAVEN REJOICES FOR THE SALVATION OF ONE CHILD!

(Luke 15:7 NKJV) "I say to you that likewise there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine just persons who need no repentance.

indeed Michelle has accepted Christ!! (: indeed, when God's will is being done.. NOTHING will be able to stop it.. my first friend who accept Christ.. said the sinners' prayer, over msn! haha.. praise God for cyberworld for this type of purposes!! (: i'm happy!! (:

thoughts

2008-03-07T16:38:00.002+08:00

past 2 nights.... things i thought would never had happen, happened.. person i thought truely understood what i will say, probably misunderstood every sentence that i said.. asking her to reflect is probably my mistake, cuz she was already so angry... there was no way that she was able to reflect...

she have retreated from all of us.. avoiding any gatherings that we try to organise.. i pray that she would come to realise that we do really love her a lot as a dear friend.. im not sure if she will read my blog.. but if she does.. i really hope she can read this and not jump into conclusions about me wanting to scold her... or worst.. that someone else told me to scold her...

she never was like this... im really sad.. wondering what made her change so much.. would she ever share with me?... i can only pray...

found

2008-03-07T00:32:00.003+08:00

i found the meaning of letting God be in control...

as i was just planning to type out one long letter for her... typed half way, and i was stopped by a few calls and disturbing conversations on msn... then i prayed.. after that.. when i wanted to continue.. i realised, all these are not what God wants me to do... there is only one thing God wants me to do right now, which is to pray for her.. not even to advice her... or telling her anything.. but pray for her...

i felt disappointed because she really had changed.. i felt accused, because the devil told me that, this all started with me.. but God had to assure me over and over again that.. all these are lies.. God assured me in Rev 2:25-26.. to hold fast what i have in Him till He comes.. means that be it whatever situations.. i need to stand strong in Him!.. also in Romans 12:21.. feeling so accused, i really had every mind to rebuked her back... but God gave me this verse to hold on to.. that i should not be overcome by evil, but instead overcome evil with good..

i realised that, everytime i meet up with something wrong.. i always felt afraid and just retreat.. then i realise, i am not really relying on Him for His strength fully as yet... for He reminds us in 1 John 4:4 that He who is in me is greater than he who is in the world... there should be nothing that i am afraid to face.. Amen..

All Glory be unto Him the highest..

God is in control

2008-03-05T23:56:00.005+08:00

10mins ago.. i was just writing out all that i want to vent out... but yes.. indeed God was working thru Sean and Carol.. Carol's timely encouragment came by... God spoke thru her encouragment so clearly.. i was glad... now.. all the anger, frustrations, irritations were gone.. All praise be unto God.. indeed Carol encourged me.. but it was God's work.. God timed it properly.. it was not too early.. it was not too late either (: Praise God! (:

I Adore by Hillsongs

The universe is at Your feet
Gives You praise
Evermore
The stars will light the sky for You
Always
God be praised

And we sing The Lord is on high
The Lord is on high

I adore You
I adore You
And there's none that compares
To Your majesty O Lord

I adore You
I adore You
And I stand
In wonder of Your love

We will crown You King forever
Living Saviour Jesus Redeemer
Lord of Heaven Robed in majesty
Crowned in glory
Creation adores You

Holy Holy
God Almighty
And forever the Lord is exalted
Hear the angels
Shout His anthem
Ever-living
God we adore You

great song that i was listening too... indeed God is great, Almighty!
a well done song by hillsongs.. lyrics is amazing.. this is just talking a small bit about God's personality.. and it is like.. WOAH! (:

All hail to the King of kings.. (:

back Audrey and Chee San..

Chee San, it is okay, how you treat us.. but really, we just want to spend that little time with you.. alone.. if you get what i mean.. really.. just something i want to tell you.. there is someone out there who really loves you no matter what.. and is there for you... been in gb, i believe you know who.. he loved all of us.. and Hui Wen, Audrey and I have accepted His love.. and can say that His love is indeed great.. wouldnt you accept it too?..

Audrey.. have patience.. and lotsa love.. remember ya! dun grumble.. want to grumble.. grumble to me! (: not on others... you know who im talking about (: share it with God too.. He would spend more time than me to listen to you.. (: perserve on, sister! i believe you can bring it thru, with God as your strength! (:

Danny... i know, you never really shared with me directly.. but i felt that i really need to share this with you.. disappointments are inevitable.. but, clinging on to God's promise is something that we should do.. yes, those were people you trusted.. but perhaps God is trying to tell you something?... forgiveness follows reconciliation.. God forgave us of everything when Jesus died on the cross, but He didnt just stop there.. He used Jesus as a bridge of us to communicate with Him.. and we are now reconciled in Him... shouldnt you do the same too?.. have you truely forgiven them?... now that you know what does forgiveness means and do... it is hard.. but having God's as your strength, God could go to the extent of asking His precious Son to died on the cross as a sacrifice, so that we can be reconciled back to His presence.. can you truely forgive them? with your own strength.. not really.. but with God's strength, love and power.. nothing is impossible.. it is left with your actions and faith.. (: take heed, im not rebuking you ya.. just telling you in love.. really.. take care brother (:

His voice

2008-03-04T23:46:00.002+08:00

His voice so audible in my heart.. Holy Spirit teaching me, as i do my Quiet Time.. questions that i had.. i decided, instead of immediately pushing it aside to ask Sabrina.. i decided to ask the Holy Spirit to teach me.. and wow, did He really teach me! (: questions i didnt know, He answered them, one by one.. using examples from my life and slowly explained to me.. indeed, i would agree that He is a great Teacher! (: i thank God for a great Teacher! (:

well.. i wanted to hear from God today.. wanted to train my ears and heart to listen to Him too! (: today He spoke to me about His will for me.. He spoke to me on how He wants me to speak of His truth only.. to people that He brings to me.. because His truth will set people free.. (: yea (:

All praises be unto the Father (:

first time

2008-03-03T22:49:00.003+08:00

first time on the job of a proj in charge.. hmm.. not easy.. gathering even the small group of 6 girls.. thinking of ways to get them together.. thinking of how to improve their skill of proj.. allowing them to offer up their best services to the Lord.. will be 'assessing' them the next quad.. on how they are doing.. and where to improve..

juggling this with Angeline.. really made me rely on His strength and wisdom to perform all these.. but i do it with joy (:

All praise to God..

sudden realisation

2008-03-02T20:55:00.002+08:00

as my sister ran into my room complaining to me that Gladys didnt give her XD book 2.. i remembered of myself on how tightly i kept to my planned schedule.. like.. NLK 2 months, means MUST complete within the 2 months... mmm... but Andy did tell me before.. it shouldnt be about keeping within what was given to you... it should just go as we progress.. if we need more time for today's devotional material, for example.. then we should spare on more day to meditate on it more..mmm... well.. i could have told her all that.. but all i said was... 'i dont care..' in my usual 'i-don't-care' tone.. then mmm.. i felt that i should change that habit towards her...

somehow towards my sister.. sometimes, really detest her.. but i do really love her.. (: but somehow for her... i guess, i just dunno how to express my love towards her.. sadly, she feels that i do not like her at all.. well.. i guess, i need to work more on expressing my love to my dearest sister (:

and i thank God for showing me this (: cuz im really gonna miss her when she leave for Dubai..

Shout Unto God

2008-03-01T20:48:00.002+08:00

1 John 5:4 (New King James Version)

For whatever is born of God overcomes the world. And this is the victory that has overcome the world — our faith.

Shout Unto God by Hillsongs United

The enemy has been defeated
And death couldn't hold You down
We're gonna lift our voice in victory
We're gonna make Your praises loud

Shout unto God with a voice of triumph
Shout unto God with a voice of praise
Shout unto God with a voice of triumph
We lift Your name up
We lift Your name up

Indeed the enemy has been defeated!! This 2 weeks.. i strongly believe was God preparing us for this message! we, being as Christian has the victory over the world! whatever doubts that come to our mind, is defintely not from God and not of God.. so when i have doubts, i cast it away and out of my mind, having nothing negative in me! simply because i believe, that God is God!

these few weeks... i have been searching for an answer.. i finally got it from today's youth service.. why was i so afraid to speak to her?... God has empowered me.. i strongly believe, after so many prayers by my dearest brothers and sisters in Christ... why couldnt i do it.. today God answered it with 1 word... amazing.. faith...

faith was the key to my fear.. God has overcame my fear.. but i have not.. i didnt have that small faith in God.. not even a little bit.. not even a faith of a mustard seed! because if we have faith as a mustard seed, we can command a tree to be uprooted and be planted by the sea..

Luke 17:5-6 (New King James Version)

5 And the apostles said to the Lord, “Increase our faith.”
6 So the Lord said, “If you have faith as a mustard seed, you can say to this mulberry tree, ‘Be pulled up by the roots and be planted in the sea,’ and it would obey you.

the importance is not the action.. but it is simply that, if we have faith, we just need to do ordinary actions.. because by doing faith-filled ordinary actions.. God would give the extraordinary result! Amen! All praises be unto God!

faith is the key to unlocking the great power of God.. faith is the key to seeing people get save by the tens and thousands! faith is the key of overcoming the one most difficult barrier.. ourselves.. more than often, we fail to do a lot of things and end up blaming God for not giving us strength.. but now i understand and believe.. God wants me to know and get this very clear.. He gave me the strength.. He provided me the way.. i just didnt have faith.. today's sharing by Timothy and Si Er just hit me, and convict me! indeed! though overnight i dun think i can change instantly.. but know with the faith factor in me! i want to overcome this fear!

there is a Easter Concert coming up on the 23rd of Mar, Sunday.. in Saint Andrew's Cathedral, CNS! Alan, if you are reading this.. you must come! (: Ivy and I will bug you!! (:
Anyone who is interested please do let me know! (: it is gonna be a great time of listening to great songs.. by almost a full orchestra band! (:

All glory be unto God alone! (:

Joy

2008-03-01T00:00:00.003+08:00

true joy comes when God's love overflows from within.. and even a smile... can tell if it is true joy or not.. when one has true joy, a smile, a lovingly action can easily be shown from a person.. and you can just see the overflowing of God's grace and love within the person.. (:

for me.. not only God's love and grace overflows from within me.. friends around me, just make me smile too (:

you are special! cuz God put you in my life to make me smile (:

what's after life

2008-02-28T23:31:00.003+08:00

the seriousness of this matter.. didnt really did hit me till today.. as i seriously thought about it.. what if i die the next moment.. was i sure that i would be in heaven with the Lord?... even as we face worldly issues.. once we die.. all these would not matter anymore.. so what is more important?..

having Christ in us.. having the assurance that we would be spending eternity in heaven with the heavenly Father.. then all my dreams and aspirations was not fulfilled... so instead of focusing so much on them.. why not focus on Christ, the One that can assure you a place in heaven forever..

hell is real, my friends.. click here for an account that tells about 7 Columbian youths that experienced hell for real! and of cuz after that, read the account on heaven.. then you decide on where you want to be for eternity..

i choose to cling on to Him and His promises till the end of my days.. i should worry about where i am going after earth.. but it should not be my focus in life.. my focus has to be only one thing and that is God.. Christ alone..

tonight.. God gathered a group of us.. we do not call ourselves strong and holy christians.. but i believe God brought us today as tools that had been empowered to be used in the kingdom of God.. and since we are tools.. we need to fit ourselves right for the situations... being in a situation that requires us to be firm, we need to be firm.. being in a situation where we need to be strong in Christ, we need to remain in Him.. but see that we do not solve the problems ourselves, but it is Christ that solves it for us.. He is the one that would help us to be inserted into the nail and he will push us to work for Him.. and our part is.. whether or not we will perserve on till the nail is pushed all the way in and complete!

Praise be to God!

end of a tiring battle

2008-02-25T22:59:00.003+08:00

after a tiring battle.. i realised.. if i could just fully, totally trust in God.. i wouldnt have gone through so much so much pain and tears.. but through these, i grew closer with Him.. so.. i would say that all was worth it..

after this.. i would be able to serve Him with no restrictions! really great!

oh ya.. before i forgot.. i have to thank a few of my beloved sisters and brothers who were there for me (:

Sabrina! my lovely mentor, who has a warm and loving hug! (: thanks for your prayers too!

Ivy! another sister whom i really enjoy to be with! thanks for your hug too.. so comforting for me to rest in! (: thanks for your prayers too!

Carol! my dearest most loved sister, that i really treasure! (: thanks for your prayers and the listening ear who would be there to listen to be share my heart out! really really thank God for such a wonderful sister i have! (:

Sean! wow.. this brother has been great.. God placed you in my life, at such a time... i really am grateful to Him for.. your encouragements helped me so much.. let continue to encourage each other! (:

Eric! my personal God-sent FREE counsellor and psychiatrist.. indeed it was God sent.. thanks for the advice.. though i wanted to follow.. but apparantly God has another back up plan, cuz he know i cant do it without His strength! (: so really, thanks for your advice!

last but not least, Andy! my cell-leader.. thanks for the listening ear.. thanks for all your prayers.. thanks for your encouragments also..

yeapyeap.. and thanks to everyone who played a small part or so! (: even though i might not remb you.. God does.. and He will greatly reward you (:

All glory be unto God alone

ups and down

2008-02-25T12:27:00.005+08:00

within a span of 1 night and 1 day.. i experience an extreme low 'down' and a very high 'up' in my life... not through events.. but just not being able to experience His divine presence and peace and joy.. last night.. thoughts, doubts and fears just overwhelm me to the extent that i kept crying and crying.. the fear kept rising.. i took up my Bible with great effort.. but somehow nothing came through... couldnt flip the Bible at all... saw Sabrina and Carol online.. told them to keep me in prayer... i couldnt pray properly, couldnt exerise my gift of tongues.. everything was so horrible and fearful.. but i didnt want to give up.. something in me just want to give up.. but i dont want.. everytime i tried to pray, i cried even more... everytime i tried to think about God, i cried even more.. but i didnt want to stop there.. i kept trying.. finally prayed for a breakthrough.. but it was not complete.. i read 2 chapters of the Bible. Psalm 27 and Isaiah 51.. after reading, i felt more peace in my heart.. then i slept, cuz i was really exhasted..

morning when i woke up.. there was still this stirring in my heart.. as i was just thinking about today.. things just flashed past my mind, making me mentally tired.. i took up the guitar and starting playing and singing.. then i started singing a new song after a new song to Him.. feel refreshed by the Spirit.. as i desire for more of His presence and joy, i started to sing.. then as i turned to my window.. i saw the bright light from the sky just shining down.. what's the different from all the light shining now?... it is that, this light was only focused on me, small area, shining down.. the surrounding was cloudy.. it lasted for 2-3 mins... then slowly, the light slowly, but surely enlarged it's area, brighter and brighter... then God spoke in me.. 'Child, I have come to give you My glory first, filling you up.. now help me shine bright in your neighbourhood..' for a period of time previously, i prayed for my neighbourhood.. but after that i stopped.. and now, i believe God wants me to continue to pray for them! All praise be to God..

then the wind came, continously yet gently... as the wind blew.. God said 'this is the wind from Me, it has come to refresh your soul, your Spirit..' i took a few deep breathe in, just enjoying the wind from God.. and it was just so so refreshing, after what i have gone through yesterday.. this was like God asking me to rest in His presence..

i still cant explain what happen yesterday... but i believe i will come to understand it completely soon.. but im happy it is over.. now in God's presence again.. i really dont want to leave His presence..

All praise be unto God

All glory be unto God

however

2008-02-24T22:33:00.002+08:00

however i told myself to be courageous.. however i told myself to find peace in God.. however i told myself that God is with me... by the thought of it... i still break down... ARGH! i knew that avoiding it was not a solution... but im fearful.. i admit it... i know God is with me... but no matter how much courage God has given me. i just cant do it.. i really cant...

couldnt do the thing that God told me to on sat.. dun even talk about sun... and tim goh bdae party.. i had to keep my mind occupied with the cooking so that i wouldnt show my fright...

every time there is a thought about it.. my mind wanders to many things.. many possibilities... and then i fear and break down... ARGH!!

take heed

2008-02-23T11:41:00.004+08:00

this flash never fail to touch me too..

remembering that the Lord would give you chance after chance to get to know Him.. that's His top priority.. that's our top priority too...

1 Timothy 2:1-4

1 Therefore I exhort first of all that supplications, prayers, intercessions, and giving of thanks be made for all men,

2 for kings and all who are in authority, that we may lead a quiet and peaceable life in all godliness and reverence.

3 For this is good and acceptable in the sight of God our Savior,

4 who desires all men to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth.

God desires everyone to be saved.. every single one that He created!

no words can describe

2008-02-23T00:59:00.002+08:00

woah! tonight's conference was..... hmmm.. im lost for words... great?... too mild.. wonderful? too mild too... spiritually magnificent, glorious.. God's presence was truely tangible.. God's spirit just poured forth like overflowing oil for our fire to burn so strongly for Him.. then He assured me just now, that His oil is unlimited.. so never stop asking from Him.. dont ever run on empty again.. no words can actually describe the actual scene.. the whole place was filled to the brim (ceiling) of God's presence, power, glory, Spirit! All Praises be unto God!

crazy ride that i have been through in my life.. i pray that i would be able to get through this with His help! by the thought of it.. im already feeling fearful.. i just need God's help so much to get through this!

with God's divine (and, i mean truely) timing, i had a chance of sharing with my godpa what i was going through.. after sharing.. my burden was truely lighten.. because.. not only God gave me His assurance.. my godpa adviced me a little too.. i hope after telling him... things will turn out well.. i dunno how it will be.. but i believe God has prepared all three of our hearts for this... i really pray that everything will turn out alright...

thanks Sabrina, for the re-assuring, comforting, heart-warming, long hug! always wanted to do that for the longest time le.. i could finally cry on someone's shoulder! it was really a release.. for the third time that night, to release everything i held inside since beginning of the year..

All glory be unto God alone!

our gracious Father

2008-02-21T23:12:00.003+08:00

&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;br&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;

i need to put this up.. to let people know our God is an awesome God..

no matter how much you reject him, He is waiting for you to love him.. and WHENEVER and WHEREVER you choose to just take a peek at that mirror.. He will be there, for sure just waiting to catch a glimpse of you..

never fail to touch me everything i see this flash..

may you readers be blessed by the flash too..

all praise be to God

2008-02-21T00:59:00.002+08:00

i thank God for a wonderful result he gave me! (: really happy about it... and i know myself very well, im a super slow learner.. so having such a good result.. there is only one person i can thank which is God..

thinking back.. ya, there are others in the class that i am grateful for too (: but it was God who put them there.. so yea.. i thank God! (:

To God be the glory!

God's calling

2008-02-17T20:47:00.003+08:00

i believe God's calling for my life.. i want to follow Him...

having the second mentoring session wtih Angeline really made me learn a lot.. from her sharing, i could see that God is using her to share His word to her friends, even though she is less than a month old christian, the passion and love overflowing out of her life holds a significant change in her life..

sometimes she feels discouraged.. like how i felt when my friend rejected Christ... felt so rejected.. but remembered what Sabrina shared with me about rejections... and realised.. it is not our fault, and we should feel sad and give up hope, but continue to pray fervently for them, fighting for their salvation!

took a brief look at the book 'Divine Relationship Of Hell'... once again reminded me of the reality of hell and heaven and the whole spiritual realm that we are in.. i really do not want to see any of my friends end up somewhere they should not be.. but they should be given a chance to know Christ.. i didnt make use of my chance in my previous class, focused so much on my studies.. and even though i did well.. the happiness in me lasted very short, and i knew that this has no eternal worth at all..

i want to do something that has eternal worth..
glorify God in whatever i am doing..
changing the destiny of my friends..
being spiritually accountable and aware of Angeline's spiritual growth and making sure she does not fall away..
being spiritually accountable and aware of my cell members spiritual growth and making sure they do not fall away..
being spiritually alert of my own spiritual growth and making sure i do not fall away!

Praise to God the highest!

i want to do something the Holy Spirit has asked me to do.. i was suppose to do it on friday.. but i hesitated with the Spirit and didnt want to do it because of fear.. but after having a good counselling session with the future psychiatrist, Eric.. glad to have that session with him.. made me think a lot more on how i was reacting to it.. and so decided to do what the Holy Spirit prompted me to do!

May God take charge of what I am going to do!

Presence of God

2008-02-15T22:02:00.003+08:00

after a session of sharing with Sabrina. felt really so much refreshed and drawn back to Him.. a week of hiding from Him, was really scary.. entering His presence once again was great! though my problems were still not solved, but now i have the assurance of God, Holy Spirit, and my sister and brother in Christ that will be with me to go through this. it would not be an easy obstacle for me to go through but i am determine to go through this and not let Satan get the better of me!

2 Timothy 1:7
For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.

Romans 12:21
Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

overcoming evil with good. is the difficult part.. but it can be done.. and it can only be done with God's love.. so when we need to overcome evil with good. we need God's love..

now with these verse resounding in my head... i hope to handle the situation better.. though at the thought of it, it still gives me fear.. but i want to overcome it with God's Spirit and strength!

even after a short sharing by Sean.. felt that though all the above needed to be done.. most importantly, i must keep my walk with God strong.. so as not to let the devil have any chance to placing doubts in my head... even as God prepares His church for greater things, the devil's attack would be greater on individuals too.. so it is extra important to keep in prayer for your cell members at all times.. very important.. i realised the importance of prayer... VERY CRUCIAL! so since now, i am co leading a matchbox, i will keep praying for protection over my cell members.. cuz they are all so dear to me! (:

To God be the Glory!

rip off (:

2008-02-15T01:45:00.003+08:00

got this from Carol's blog.. but i feel that it is SO good.. i need to put it on my blog.. Carol! dont mind me ripping it from your blog.. (: thank you (:

The world tells you self-confidence is the key,
but God tells you to have faith in Him.

The world tells you to follow your heart,
but God tells you to follow Him.

The world tells you that you've gotta be slim and pretty,
but God tells you to love the way He made you.

The world tells you to go after riches,
but God tells you to seek first His kingdom.

The world tells you to hurt others to gain something, even ever so little,
but God tells you to serve others with love.

The world tells you that romance is love,
but God has spelt out everything what love should be in 1 Corinthians 13.

The world tells you to repay evil for evil,
but God tells you to love even your enemies.

The world tells you dancing and jumping while worshipping is crazy,
but God wants you to worship in spirit and in truth.

The world tells you to go with the flow,
but God wants you to be the difference.

The world tells you there's no such thing as a god,
but God tells you that Jesus is the only way,
whether you like it or not,
whether you believe it or not.

There is absolutely no such thing as self-love in the kingdom of God.
Only love for God.
Pure and sincere.
Whether you believe it or not.

We are only in this world. YET Not Of This World.

great message!.. hope it speaks to you like how it spoke to me! (:

mentoring

2008-02-13T18:59:00.000+08:00

it was my first time mentoring someone on Sunday.. thought i still had a lot to improve from... but it was a good experience.. having to mentor someone meant an extra responsibility, it is a person's destiny that i am responsible for.. (:

that meant that i need to be walking right with God too. so that during mentoring sessions, the spirit man in me will be more alert to the Holy Spirit and will be teaching me what to say..

tonight's prayer meeting was a struggle for me.. and i believe i pulled off pretty well... worries clouded my mind.. fear.. argh! i hate it.. doubts filled my mind, no matter how much the spirit assures me, the devil would always use this weak point of mine to attack Him.. kept praying the whole time that i would stay focus on Him.. sometimes subconsiciously would think of the worldly issues again.. then would stay focus again...

i prayed that i would feel His presence.. i felt it at the end of the meeting.. i was overjoyed.. (:

tmr is valentine's day.. this year is special.. not because i am celebrating with anyone special.. but i am celebrating it with my dearest church friends.. (: i only remember celebrating it with my school friends before.. but not church.. so this year would be pretty interesting.. (: God was good.. was saying to myself, few days back, that this year's valentine's day i will be celebrating it alone.. but no.. God had His people ready to celebrate with me... no wonder, before Timothy Goh asked me about tmr lunch.. i felt that God had prepared a surprise celebration for me (: it was a surprise that Timothy's msg came just at that time.. so i believe it is God's plan (: Praise be to God (:

uncertain... fear..

2008-02-11T23:59:00.000+08:00

even as i face difficulties ahead of me... i hunger so much for God's presence in my life.. but i believe because of fear in me... doubt... i cannot sense God's presence, and i am really fearful.. i am not sure if it is because of my relatives from malaysia that came just for visiting... but ever since they came.. i just felt so different at home.. the spiritual atmospher is just different, plus the problems that i am facing... i feel so helpless and lost...

but God is in my house.. i know.. because He gave me verses after verses to comfort me.. and i really am thankful for that.. but i still long for His presence...

a chapter from the Bible that i would want to treasure is Psalm 27

Psalm 27

A Psalm of David.

1 The LORD is my light and my salvation;
Whom shall I fear?
The LORD is the strength of my life;
Of whom shall I be afraid?

2 When the wicked came against me
To eat up my flesh,
My enemies and foes,
They stumbled and fell.

3 Though an army may encamp against me,
My heart shall not fear;
Though war may rise against me,
In this I will be confident.

4 One thing I have desired of the LORD,
That will I seek:
That I may dwell in the house of the LORD
All the days of my life,
To behold the beauty of the LORD,
And to inquire in His temple.

5 For in the time of trouble
He shall hide me in His pavilion
In the secret place of His tabernacle
He shall hide me;
He shall set me high upon a rock.

6 And now my head shall be lifted up above my enemies all around me;
Therefore I will offer sacrifices of joy in His tabernacle;
I will sing, yes, I will sing praises to the LORD.

7 Hear, O LORD, when I cry with my voice!
Have mercy also upon me, and answer me.

8 When You said, “Seek My face,”
My heart said to You, “Your face, LORD, I will seek.”

9 Do not hide Your face from me;
Do not turn Your servant away in anger;
You have been my help;
Do not leave me nor forsake me,
O God of my salvation.

10 When my father and my mother forsake me,
Then the LORD will take care of me.

11 Teach me Your way, O LORD,
And lead me in a smooth path, because of my enemies.

12 Do not deliver me to the will of my adversaries;
For false witnesses have risen against me,
And such as breathe out violence.

13 I would have lost heart, unless I had believed
That I would see the goodness of the LORD
In the land of the living.

14 Wait on the LORD;
Be of good courage,
And He shall strengthen your heart;
Wait, I say, on the LORD!

encouraging

2008-02-10T23:45:00.000+08:00

Hebrews 10:22

let us draw near with a true heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled from an evil conscience and our bodies washed with pure water.

Ecclesiastes 7:3

Sorrow is better than laughter, for by a sad countenance the heart is made better.

thanks carol.. for the encouraging verses!

great new expectations

2008-02-10T23:01:00.000+08:00

just found out today, im suppose to head the projectionist group from next quarter..extra stress.. with all the stress, pressure, worry that i have now... gotta worry about one more ministry.. but candice assure me time and again that there are not much to do.. but still... hmm.. but God wants me to take this up.. and so i would... this time.. it is like different..

even though it looks like 3 ministries.. but i dun feel it at all.. and i know why.. because this time, i place God in front of all my ministries.. that's the difference.. and im sure glad that God is in control this time..

am worried and frustrated about a lot of other things.. trying not to bottle it up.. but i am really near of breaking down.. but im surely not losing hope in God..

pray...

Lord, help me to remember than nothing is going to happen today that you and I cannot handle together

2008-02-02T22:15:00.000+08:00

been some time since i update my blog..comp crashed.. dad was back.. last few week of school.. atomic weekend, CNY practice, GB, so a lot of things happening.. but while i was just doing my NLK.. i was comforted and refreshed by His words. that His Holy Spirit is with us. and that, He has endured everything that we went through, so He totally understands what you are going through even right now!

but i always take comfort in a plaque that hangs in my house.. "Lord, help me to remember than nothing is going to happen today that you and I cannot handle together".. it is a promise from God that He will not let you take on any problems that He knows you cannot handle. and so if He place any obstacle in front of you, take comfort and He has FULL confidence of you being able to pass it. so it is up to us, if we want to trust in Him to pass through it with Him or not.

so many things happens, if i were to write down everything, it would be a lot of things to read.. bt one thing that i want to write is that

JESUS IS A TRUE AND LIVING GOD THAT I SERVE!

i have been longing for quite some time to really make my stand.. and this time i will make my stand..

I STAND FOR CHRIST AND CHRIST ALONE.

He has indeed shown me a lot of times that He is God and He is real. times when my prayers were answered, my questions were replied with love, and my fears and doubts were changed to conviction and strength and comfort. all these that God showed to me.. i am excited to experience, but more so. the more i experience Him the more i have a burden in me for all my non-christian friends! the more i want them to know this great God and to impact destiny!

Christianity is NOT just another religion! it is a true relationship with God!

i have been reading case for faith for about 1 week now.. and the fact that God is real and true is just so true.. though some parts are a little harder to understand. but the underlying meaning is there.. GOD IS A TRUE AND LIVING GOD! (:

with conviction, i deleted this series of comedy that i downloaded in my computer... God has indeed been speaking to me about this issue.. and somehow i just brushed it aside.. but after that Sean had said during youth.. it really brought to me convicted.. i needed to make my stand, and stand for Christ.. exciting times are coming.. but hard times will come too.. and we need to be alert and not let the devil have any chances of breaking this!.. so this is my first step.. and after deleting it... i really did feel that lightness in my heart.. it is just so so wonderful to know that we have a God that loves us and wants us to love Him so that He can bless us! Amen! (:

To God be the Glory

funny

2008-01-16T21:37:00.000+08:00

my instructor today... made a pretty funny comment... i strike a kerb while turning in circuit today.. and then he was like.. 'if you do that for your test... YMCA!'.. i thought to myself.. what on earth was YMCA... he explained.. YMCA means, You Must Come Again.. haha.. oh well.. it was funny when i heard it (: but i had great fun today! he let me try S and Crank Course and directional change.. fun!! (: Carol! you are right!! it is fun! (:

huhh

2008-01-14T15:17:00.000+08:00

this is the 2nd week after the holidays... no one is in the mood of studying... and i am getting irritated.. today i did EVERYTHING myself.. again (: oh well.. as long as i dont let my conscience prick me, that will be fine.. i learn and achieve my goal as a student... and that's all i need to do (:

oh well.. this is probably one of the hardest to get not irritated... doing a 5 people, in today's case, 4 people work... and the other 3 are guys! oh man! oh well.. is okayy... i did my best ... that's all it matters (:

scared, but not now

2008-01-09T10:15:00.000+08:00

last night.. i couldnt sleep.. was just thinking about the mentoring thing.. where i need to mentor this new christian.. at first, i was excited to do it... but as i thought about it more.. i become scared and nervous.. mentoring is really a big responsiblity.. a lot of effort is needed.. and to begin, i need to get to know her first.. plus, she is a year older than me.. yes, spiritually she is very new.. but somehow i kept thinking in the flesh...

i prayed to God... then msg Sabrina about it.. she showed me a few verses.. and after that God spoke to me also...

2Tim 1:7
For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.

Matt 28:19
Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit

John 21:15-19

15 So when they had eaten breakfast, Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Simon, son of Jonah, do you love Me more than these?” He said to Him, “Yes, Lord; You know that I love You.” He said to him, “Feed My lambs.”
16 He said to him again a second time, “Simon, son of Jonah, do you love Me?” He said to Him, “Yes, Lord; You know that I love You.” He said to him, “Tend My sheep.”
17 He said to him the third time, “Simon, son of Jonah, do you love Me?” Peter was grieved because He said to him the third time, “Do you love Me?” And he said to Him, “Lord, You know all things; You know that I love You.” Jesus said to him, “Feed My sheep.
18 Most assuredly, I say to you, when you were younger, you girded yourself and walked where you wished; but when you are old, you will stretch out your hands, and another will gird you and carry you where you do not wish.”
19 This He spoke, signifying by what death he would glorify God. And when He had spoken this, He said to him, “Follow Me.”

As God spoke to me.. He showed me a few verse also..

Psalm 139:13
13 For You formed my inward parts;
You covered me in my mother’s womb.

God said 'I created you for who you are.. you are beautiful in my sight and why should you be afraid..'
and then He reminded me of another verse..

Jerem 29:11
11 For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.

God added after that verse, 'but only if you obey me..'

this test that God place in front of me... is not gonna be easy for me.. leaving my comfort zone.. all along.. i have been in church.. even in serving.. wherever i am comfortable in, i serve.. but the time has come that God wants me to get out of this comfort zone and i am in for so long... with God beside me.. i will fear nothing and no one, and get out of my comfort zone... saying seems easy.. but this time.. i dun wana fail this test that God placed before me.. i wana pass this test!

i will not be afraid! but lead the people God wants me to lead and be led by Him to do His will and purpose! yeap! Amen! To God be the glory! (:

for a change...

2008-01-05T00:16:00.000+08:00

5 days into the new year and God is already starting to change me (: and i am glad for that.

somehow i know i was holding a grudge against this person and hating this person... but somehow i knew i just did not want to face up to it.. but during my QT with God.. God just surfaced it up so clearly it was hard to avoid it from God... i repented and.. hey! BIG LOAD off my chest! (:

great year ahead i believe... more obstacles and temptations coming.. but i pray i will overcome all of these with God as my strength! (:

and i thank God... I PASS MY PP MODULE!! (:

well.. if you know the process of it... it is REALLY A MIRACLE!! (: weee...
im happy.. really happy.. (: yea!! and there is only one person i can thank.. GOD! (:

been reading up about worshipping in spirit and in truth.. Andy brought up this verse few days back.. i believe it was not only a question for him.. it was a reminder for me on how i should worship Him.. worship is holy.. because God is holy..

God do not NEED our worship... we worship Him because we want to please Him, glorify Him, praise Him, thank Him, honour Him... so when we present our worship, it needs to be willing and pleasing to Him, for Him to accept it..

i reflect on my own worship at times, and i know those were the times where God was not pleased with my worship at all.. i prayed that God would forgive me.. and after i am reminded once again... i take worship seriously...

doing projectionist sounds easy... but it takes some time for projectionist to be able to worship and control the slides at the same time.. blessed am i, God showed me how to.. more than often, i know my body were controlling the slides, but i sense my spirit still worshipping.. my eyes are open, just checking once in a while that the slides are in order with the worship leader.. but my spirit is worshipping.. my mind ocassionally think about controlling the slides, but when it is focused on God.. He just makes it so smooth that you dont need to think about it.. when the spirit leads the worship team and the projectionist.. the projectionist would know what the worship leader will sing next even before the projectionist sees the hand sign that the worship leader is about to make.. wonderful right?..

and why does this happens? because we are all in the same Body of Christ.. and when the spirit leads, He leads the body.. so everyone that is in the Body would feel it.. (: wonderful to be in the Body of Christ (: alright.. so much for today.. (:

Be blessed..

little cutie (:

2008-01-04T13:16:00.000+08:00

a little cutie that i know in Dubai (: cute huh? (:

i'm back

2008-01-02T17:19:00.000+08:00

IM BACK!!! (: AND HELLO TO ALL AND 2008!! (:

back from a great holiday/retreat (:

it was a holiday to see my dad... oh man.. i miss my daddy SO SO SO MUCH!! (: it was a great time for the family to bond together.. so i am happy and thankful to God for giving my family this chance to bring my family closer (:

retreat, cuz without all my friends around, God was able to speak to me more and i could be more aware of Him more.. coming to Dubai, a country i consider it muslim.. and you see the christians there... it is really great and encourgaing.. i know of a lady that has a calling for ladies.. and God gave her the talent to cook and bake so well.. so she always have gathering for the non christian ladies tries to share with them about christ... but she doesnt force, so she will make friends with them and all... and i see the passion she has.. it is really encourgaing.. and she shared with my mum that she was praying to God that she needs help, because of the number of ladies that she has in her group... and indeed, God answeres prayers! He gave my mum to her! she felt in the spirit and my mum was the one! my mum felt the nudging of the spirit too! it is so great and exciting! (:

for me, entering into a new year 2008! im excited, myself.. (: reading the word everyday, starting with the very basic of a christian walk, the New Life Kit, really taught me a lot.. (: and i thank God for it (:

how funny does God speaks to me... He speaks through posters/adverts in Dubai.. situations...

there was a poster line that went like this

and then God spoke! amazing huh... God said.. however much the world gives 'complete protection' it can never be a perfect and complete protection.. only in God we can find complete protection from everything in this world.. how great is our God! just an irony on that statement... how can it be complete when we are worrying about other things right?... though it was only an advert.. but God spoke so much.. praise God.. (:

one more post

2007-12-14T07:49:00.001+08:00

one more post before i fly... weeee.... EXCITED!!! (:

gonna see my dad and mum.. I MISS THEM LOADS!! it is wonderful how God wants us to learn how to treasure your family.. and i sure do now.. (:

previously, before my parents went anywhere far without my sis and me... was ALMOST impossible to happen! and there were times were i thought, what would happen without my parents... but often, i just brush them aside.. (:

but now, after this lesson.. i learn to love the both of them more.. esp my dad.. (:

when i only get to see him once in a LONG LONG time.. (: although i always wanted to spend christmas in singapore with Youth Fusion + my parents.. i did grumbled a bit, when i heard that we are going to spend christmas away... but.. after a while of thinking... i felt that, i would rather spend my christmas with my parents (:

yeapyeap.. once again.. in my W64H class room.. (: for the last time this year.. (:
my class has been great.. with some great friends... (: oh well, you know who im talking about..

last day in singapore for this year.. (:

God loves you! (:

youth retreat 2007

2007-12-10T08:09:00.000+08:00

youth retreat was AWESOME! (:

there were A LOT of things that God spoke to me about... particularly on following Him closely...

it takes a lot of discipline to follow Him. it is not easy being in this world with a lot of distractions

desperate people was our retreat theme song. and it was great.wonderful. it was not difficult seeing that God was a God that loves us so much then. and sometimes we just need to get out of our busy lives for a minute and just stay in awe of how much God can do. and then slowly, that min will be an hour, and then God will speak. and when God speak. conviction comes. (:

when conviction comes. true worship enters. that is when one grows and enter a deeper relationship with the Almighty. this year retreat was different for me cuz i was in committee and doing proj for every session. though i have mastered the art of worshipping and doing slides. i thank God that i could worship Him from my heart. cuz without God enabling me, i doubt i could concentrate on God.

Si Er's message was hard, real hard and really made me think what am i living for?...

am i living for the best living of this world? am i living for the grades that i have? friends? love for self? often it is SO easy to lose focus because that is what the world wants us to do, the world entails us with all the 'good' stuff and we end up losing our eternal life.

why do we often choose things so temporaral instead of fixing our eyes on the eternal gift that we would receieve?... lack of the relationsip and conviction from God. i believe that only these can truly allow us to fix our eyes on God alone. everything in this world seem so tempting to fall into... indulging ourselves in hours of tv, computer, comics, even just slacking. all these are the ways of the devil, wanting us to lose focus on God.

like i shared with Hui Qing and Xiao Ting during devotion during the retreat, do not just make good, correct and wise decisions. we HAVE to make godly decisions, decisions that are correct, might not be decisions that God want us to make. and this would also displease God. yet, God was never a God that forces us. it is because God loves us that He disciplines us. parents disciplines us for good, what more our heavenly Father!

there were ALOT of things that God spoke to me about. wil share in the next few post. (:

starting on iConstruct... NLK! it was a little wierd, but God spoke... the past 3 days since i started on NLK... it was wonderful. (: thinking of what to give the youths as christmas present. (: since i would not be around. i need to prepare early.. (: oh well.. will shop around later to see again (:

now is 8.17 am (: only 2 ppl (including me) in class (:

stepping down

2007-12-04T08:03:00.000+08:00

officially stepping down from children's ministry... been a great one year with the kids.. though 'bu she de'... but i know it is time for me to step down and rest and focus on GB...

messaging U jordus and Kai Lun about it instead of face to face sounds like i want to avoid things, but actually is just that there is kinda no time and kinda late already since it is already the last month.

will be doing my last sunday school lesson this week... i know i am gonna miss all of them.. esp the kids in my small group.. though sometime noisy, but they are still kids.. (:

on the other hand, stepping hand from children's ministry, honestly speaking, it has become a burden... and though i was not too tired of doing children's ministry stuff, but it just became more of a burden than a ministry, yes when i am with the kids, i enjoyed myself.. but i know i just had this burden in me then i need to let go.. and to do that, i need to release all my responsibilities in children's ministry.. not saying that i am escaping.. but i need time to rest in the Lord and really ask Him for directions again... since i am approaching year 3 of my poly years... it was time i focus a little more in school..

youth retreat is coming up.. excited... but since this is the third camp i am going in 2 months.. feeling a little tired.. but i believe God will do something during this retreat.. (:

module selection

2007-12-04T07:57:00.001+08:00

MODULES
C231 Network Security
C241 Wireless Application and Games Development
C142 Wireless LAN and Security
C141 Wireless Communications
i decided on yr 2 sem 1 modules already. (:

tired/shag

2007-11-30T15:11:00.000+08:00

wed... thurs... fri... sat... children's camp... wow..

first time, i come out of camp for school.. not really an exciting thing to do, because i would then miss out on a lot of things and.. well.. i wouldnt want to do that... :(

but class was crazily stress... java and php was crazy this week... so i'm tired like crazy.. still got test.. lost my voice... woohoo.. (: oh whatever...

but well, class was pretty good, so i cant miss it too, cuz it was pretty crucial.. oh well...

Operating System

2007-11-27T14:19:00.000+08:00

once again another fun OS lesson.. installing vista in a laptop.. making a laptop that has no OS at all, to a fully functionally laptop.. fun!! (:

now 6p... listening time..

gb camp

2007-11-20T23:22:00.000+08:00

gb camp was super! (:

had a super fun time playing with those walki talkie...

and fun time planning games with ivy (:

big smiles and thank you to ms ivy chen! (: cuz even though everything was so last min, and i thought she is going to scold me for not doing my job, she didnt!! (: and stayed up to do.. appreciated SO SO SO ULTRA MUCH!! (: and ya.. sorry for making you do most of the things... (: anyways, great time spent with you catching up in the camp also!! (: cant wait for SL trip!! gonna be more fun! (: i hope.. hehe.. (:

gladys was the CC for the camp... or sometimes, 'sissy' ... haha... was just crazy during camp.. it was a great time of bonding not only the officers and helpers, but with the girls too! (: managed to have some chance to get to know more girls... like regina... haha.. (:

fun nite was the best liao la... made the girl's do funny things like tongue twisters, and my cute little jolene thought really need to twist the tongue to say the tongue twister... haha.. (: the math one was good... lol.. and all.. (: great...

great photographer we had too, mr. chester... or chestnut.. or water chestnut... or auntie chester.. ohh well.. the girls gave them loads of nicknames... well well.. i guess, the pictures he took must be great! *keeping my fingers crossed* (:

ohh well.. slept for the longest in my life le la.. frm 3pm till 6am.. (: woohoo.. skipped lunch and dinner... weee... anyways, great sleep cuz was super shag.. imagine 3D2N so shag... cant imagine what will happen during children's camp, 4D3N!! waa... anyways, till to sleep.. tmr driving!! weeee.. (: